To feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside each other's minds.

I just got back from Megan's dance concert and it was AMAZING :))) She is the cutest dancer ever! She makes everything so gorgeous and you can tell she thinks while she dances, she FEELS while she dances. And that makes it so much more beautiful. And she even did the chillest flips and stuff :) she is just amazing :) Megan is seriously the most stunning person I know :)) And kercee did so great :)) she just makes you smile because you can tell she's just having a blast up there :)
Let me just say this; Cyprus is hella hard to find! And on the freeway there was this stupid crazy turn left dare right... Wtf is dare right???? It was awful! And I had to drive up and down the street so many times to find the right neighborhood to turn into to get to the school! So I get there and I'm like trying to decide where to sit, and I hear someone 'Adri' So I turn around and thank the lord, Tanner is there :) so I sat with him and Mark :) I'm so glad I didn't have to sit by myself :)) But so then after I find Megan and she's like 'Whoa I didn't even recognize you because you're so brown!' I love her :)) and you can tell she was truly grateful for the flowers I gave her :)) And I got to meet her mom and sister! They were BLONDE! Where did megan come from??? She's so much more exotic than them! And Kercee and Tanner are so freaking precious together :))) So cute! But Kercee is having such a rough time... her dad left today. Like they don't know where he is at all. And her mom is talking about being single. I know it's going to be so hard on her. And I promise I'll be there for her whenever she needs me.
But so then I'm on my way out to the parking lot, and I am ALL twisted around! So I have to keep asking people where the parking lot is! They probably think I'm such a loser! But me and this guy ended up talking just for a minute and he helped me to find my car :) so I'm sitting in my car trying to figure out my gps so I can get back home and then he knocks on my window :) it scared the shit out of me! But then he was like 'Can I get your number?' :)) it was pretty cute how he did that ;) Then megan texted me and she thought it was even more special that I came to see her all by myself and she thanked me for the flowers again :) I HAVE THEEEE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER!!! and it's been decided that I'm darker than Kercee :)) me so tan :))
That kid just texted me :) his name is cannon :)
goodnight xxxxxxx

Don't let em say you ain't beautiful. They can all get fucked, just stay true to you.

Dixon texted me and informed me that I failed to mention that his birthday is tomorrow too...
Sooo....
Tomorrow is Dixon's birthday :))) This means I get to iChat him and singgg to him :))

I'll be one tough act to follow.

 So I went to this little best of efy thing today. And I could have killed a girl. I mothertrucking HATE beehives. Especially a foster one with ADD that can talk on and on about absolutely nothing! I couldn't stand her! I'm just trying to listen to the talks, and she's over there scribbling with her sharpie very noisily. And then she hangs on to me and I just want to punch her in her ugly horse mouth! And she had the AUDACITY to put her arm around me and say 'We've missed you in church, girlie. Where have you been?' Alright, I've had it. YOU ARE IN SIXTH GRADE! Don't try to 'fellowship' me, bitch! I am OLDER than you so stop using such a goddamn condescending voice! People do not like you, they won't, and you annoy me. SO GO AWAY! Woof she bugged me... especially when she eats with her ugly horse mouth open!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR CORNDOG AS YOU POUND IT INTO OBLIVION!!!! Goddamn :| that girl strikes a nerve...
On the other, much more positive, sunny side up hand, the talks were pretty good :) And I got to see Torbear :) :) :) I miss him so much!!! I forgot what a stud he has become :) one day me and ben and tank are just going to have to go see him :) I told him to leave the door unlocked for us ;) this week I've had encounters with all the jensens :) it must be a sign!
I was telling Bishop that me and Colton are kind of having a thing again and he seemed pleased that I'm finally going back to the baseball team ;) he thinks colton is a pretty good guy :) me too :)
I've still gotta finish making those posters, go get them flowers, AND go tanning :)
Gonna see my girlfriend tonight :)) can't wait to see my girls dance :))
Zak's birthday tomorrow :)) that means I need to bake a giant cupcake! :))
Maybe I'll make a blog later about everything I learned today :) we'll seeeee

Aydree Lynne+Marshall Mathers :))

Most said comment on last nights blog: 'I had slim shady stuck in my head all night' :)) 
Bahaha :) I'm going to make all of you love eminem ;)

Be proud to be out of your mind and out of control!

Today was <333

In cosmetology I did my final shave, but I did shit because I was so stressed! I know I at least didn't fail though. So that's bueno :) I don't even know how, but we started talking about nakedness in the tanning beds... Kercee: I always think about what was on the person before me... Me: I never think about that, I just think about Megan and Jessica being naked in the same bed as me... IT CAME OUT ALL WRONG! I meant like when I go in bed two or three I always think about how they were there first! Idk... It made sense when I said it :) I'm so excited to go see megan and Kercee dance :) I made them posters and I'm taking them flowers :)) It will be awesome :)) I love them so much :) They are THE loves of my life :) we braided eachothers hair all day today :) it was basically a slumber party ;) 

Your ass. My bed. Now.

Ummm....

That's not how you say hell yes...

No, it's how I say your ass MY bed ;) now.

Drakey baby <333 best bf ever :) 

In seminary we talked about how there is no such things as soulmates. I'm dead serious. It was depressing. But it made sense. Because if there was a soul mate, it would take away our agency. So maybe there aren't soul mates, but I know that there is someone out there that is best for me. I guess the whole soul mate concept was always a little bogus to me. There are a lot of guys out there that could make me happy, not just one. Maybe I'll change my mind when THAT guy comes along :)

English was fun :) I don't remember why :) But I do remember that Nik said he was jealous of Justin Bieber :) I don't even know how we come on the subjects that we do :) 'DO YOU JUST HAVE A CRUSH ON EVERYTHING???' Yehhh, basically ;) Mostly eminem though :) I'm hella gonna miss chelsea :/

Tanning :)) very very nice :) 

Taya called :) I miss her so much!!! She just asked me how I was, because last time we talked I was crying at two am. It's gotten better since then. She gives me hope. She has always been the person that made me feel the prettiest. And she was right, I have amazing better things in my future <33 true friends and an amazing boyfriend. As long as I have her, megan, kercee, jess, and jay, I'm set. And with like my seven boyfriends ;) Single=happy :) So many men :) :) :)

Gymmm :) I love getting checked out at the gym :)) When I'm all sweaty and at my nastiest, men still think I'm sexy ;) awhhh yehhh ;) And we saw Kathy there!!! :) :) :) It took us forever to notice eachother! I haven't seen her since last christmas I think! 'I saw you from behind and I was thinking about what a cute girl you were! I had no idea it was you! I miss you, j' :) :) :) and I miss you and torbear!!! :)

Then colton called me and was like 'come party' and I was like mmm I don't wanna :) but then Jordan got on the phone and begged me to come, so I HAD to! I really like Jordan he's a chill guy :) So I went :) first thing when we got to Jordan's I had to peee, and his toilets are so weird! It took me forever to figure out how to flush it! And Taylor from english was there and we decided to be friends :) we're even going to talk in english now! ;) Everyone was like 'Come drink, Adri' but I didn't :) it smells kucka :) not for me :) but I am an excellent bar tender ;) I make THE best drinks ;) Well at least Jordan's brother really liked it ;) And they appreciated the shots I made ;) Prooo. We played pool and me and colton won :) we're pretty good :) All night colton just kept telling me how beautiful I was :) I told jordan they wouldn't remember me in the morning 'How could he forget such a beautiful face??' :) awh :) I told them like seven times that I don't like lemonade... 

I'm so tired of people asking what happened with Eric. It didn't work ok! I'm hella tired of them all saying douche bag and slut so much. It's like I know, goddamn I lived it... At least when me and Terance ended I could say that it really was love.

And there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

How charming he looked smiling into the camera, and how miserable she looked facing Johnny and trying to peek at the camera at the same time! All that was behind her now. The real Johnny would always do what Johnny wanted and never mind how other people felt. The Johnny she had admired was no more real than Kip Laddish on the television screen. Jean started to tear the snapshot in two, hesitated, and looked at it a second time. Johnny, the boy she neither liked or admired, and yet... she would never forget Johnny. It was Johnny who had noticed her, singled her out of the crowd, had made her feel she was attractive. In a way, it was Johnny who had made her aware of herself. She could not forget that. If only Johnny had been a different kind of boy... Jean picked up a pair of manicure scissors from the dresser and carefully snipped off her half of the snapshot and dropped it into the wastebasket. She lifted the lid of the lacquered box and dropped into it the wrapper of the straw. Her glance lingered on Johnny's half of the snapshot, which she laid on top of the wrapper. Silently she closed the box and shut the drawer. Goodbye, Johnny, she thought. I am not sorry I knew you. Maybe she should be sorry, but she wasn't. In her heart she knew she would always remember Johnny. Always.

And since birth I've been cursed with this curse just to curse.

That's my little buddy :) her name is Dina and today she was my client :) we had a lot of fun together :) we bonded over justin bieber and purple mustaches :)) her aunt brought her and her sister in today for the birthday package :) So I had the pleasure of doing her hair, nails, makeup, and toenails :) she knew exactly how she wanted her hair :) Curly (but not curly on top!!) and with her bangs braided back :) ohh and with purple in it :) I think she was pleased with the results and the purple extensions worked out pretty good too :) Her nails had to be pink. With white polka dots :) and her toenails had to match too! She wanted purple eyeshadow to match her hair :) she wanted her eyebrows done too, but her aunt said no ;) no joke, this girl is going to grow up to be such a diva :) I told her that boys are for losers, and that she deserves the best, so she needs to just wait for Justin Bieber :) Her aunt got a kick out of that one ;) We had a good time :)
Yesterday, Destiny had to wear a heart monitor because she has trouble breathing a lot. She still hasn't gotten the results yet, but we're anxiously waiting and hoping that they're good. I love Destiny a lot :) She's so good at nails, and she doesn't look like it, but she is one of the sweetest girls ever :) JayLynn was crying today and it was so sad :/ Her and Dalton got in a fight and she isn't sure if they are still together or not. I hated seeing her cry and watching her check her phone ever two minutes even though nothing was there :( I don't want her to have her heart broken. I know she thinks that they're meant to be together, and maybe they are, I don't know, but I do know that they were meant to be together for the time that they were. They needed each other for some reason, maybe we know it, maybe we don't. But they both had something that they needed to learn from each other, and maybe they've already learned everything that they have to. Maybe they haven't. It isn't for me to say. But I do know that what is meant to be will happen. We all just need to keep our chins up. We'll find them someday. The guy that completes our puzzle and makes our heart float. The guy that will never fully let us down. He may make us cry, he may make us scream, but in the end you'll know that you're better with him than without him. I hate those cheesy quotes about how the one that's worth your tears won't make you cry. Yes he will. I want him to make me cry at the alter on my wedding day. Tears of joy of finding my perfect love. And there will be tears of frustration and sadness, because anything worth anything is going to be HARD and there ARE going to be struggles. But it will be worth it in the end. It's kind of funny that I'm learning the most about love after losing love. For this knowledge that I'm gaining, the heartbreak is worth it.
Home release was busy! I had to go get my new contacts, finish my english homework, and go tanning for full time :))) it doesn't sound like much, but it was crazy :) I actually kind of like lord of the flies. The idea of it, not so much the book. Tanning was nice :) eminem for thirty minutes :) ahhh :) Then running :) it was happy and I got to cross a lot of stuff of my list on my wrist :)
Speaking of my wrist list, I was iChatting with Drake, and I was explaing my list to him. He thought 'Shave' was funny, so I explained to him that it meant to practice a shave, not to shave my legs or anything! 'I would shave you, Drake, but you can't grow a beard because you aren't a real man' He says something along the lines of stfu and made a sudden movement towards the camera 'Ehmagosh did I just duck away from a computer screen?? That's a sign of how abusive our relationship is, isn't it??' I love him :))

I'm just a criminal making a living off the world's misery.

In cosmetology on friday I have my final shave :| I am so nervous!!! Tomorrow during home release I'm going to study study study practice practice practice. Because unlike SOME PEOPLE I care about succeeding and about not failing finals!!! I CARE!!! I hope me and Megan and Jess and Kerc all do amazing :))
Today in seminary, this boy (I think his name is damien, but idk) was making the devotional. And he signed me up for leading. Except that he signed me up as 'Barbie' OH YES :)))
In English Chelsea told us more about the book that she's writing and she let me read the first chapter :) it's going to be so good! I love talking to her about her book because it has so many cool things like symbolism and stuff :) it's going to be so good! That's why I'm pretty sad that mrs. Aalen is coming back on monday :/ I'm going to miss talking to Chelsea about her book :( 'Seeing you tan in like a whole new person!' I know right :) :) :) me and Kercee are like the same color now :)) Nik tipped over my arizona!!! And surprisingly cleaned it up for me :) bahaha it made me hella giggle that he carries around his bottle of medicine for his ulcers as if its a juice box or something ;) Nik and Brady looked at all my dance pictures because I had to illustrate to them that I've grown up a lot and that I'm much better looking than I used to be :) I just love english :))
Me, Zakary, and Chris went to arctic circle today :) and that was fun :) I forgot how amazingly good their fries are :) we had fun :) 'What are you all sexy looking for??' This is how I always dress ;) I love getting that jaw dropping reaction :) We had a heart to heart. I cried. Because I've become a different person. I'm afraid to introduce any of my boys to any of my friends. Because my friends are STUNNING. And I don't think I could handle having that happen again. Megan is the most gorgeous friend I have ever had! Ever! You could literally shave her head and she would still be gorgeous! I don't want to lose another guy to a 'best friend' I know I couldn't deal with that again. And I hate that I have to be so afraid. I never used to be. But they all lied to me. I have texts of lies. Seriously, if only you all knew. You'd all think twice. But I don't want that again!
I can't be afraid. I won't be afraid.
I'm not afraid.
Lol at my accidental eminem quotation ;)

Happy happenings of Adri's life :))

I feel so good about tonight :) I went to young womens and it happened to be the bomb diggity ;) We did this whole secret sister thing, where you get five bucks and you buy something for someone you know? My secret sister got me an EMINEM POSTER!!! I screamed out of joy :) FINALLY I have a picture of my future husband! I'm putting him on my ceiling above my bed :) :) :)

Meanwhile, the boys are playing scrabble book of mormon style :) And my greatest dreams came true :)

OH YES!!!! 

And that's just because I make myself giggle :))

I'm so funny :)

I don't know how I took that picture in Zak's car, but somehow I find it gorgeous :) I always find strange things the most beautiful :)

This world is mine for the taking, make me king.

I like today (What? You're gay?!) That's horrible (You like hairy balls?!) Shutup (you like it up the butt??)
Today has been great :) I was in the giggliest mood ever in cosmetology :) 'Megan, yesterday someone asked me if me and my girlfriend were sexually active. I told them yes. We're sexually active.' :) I asked everyone if they would come and visit me if I got put in a psych ward. They all said yes, except Megan. 'No! You cheated on me!' :)) So then Jessica said she must be the better girlfriend because she would come visit me ;) 'Wouldn't it be cool if you could shoot people with your feet??' I made top ten in cosmetology :) :) :) that means I can officially go to slcc! :) woo :) All of us girls are going to get matching best friend panties :))) I bought my ticket to Megan and Kercee's dance showcase :) I am SO excited to see them dance :) I WILL make them a poster :) Destiny knows all about Hek ;) I love Destiny 'I like country' 'That's way unexpected, Destiny...' 'You always say that!' 'You should get super short layers so you can poof your hair. Then you'll really look like you're from Jersey shore!' That made her pretty mad ;) I love her :))
The eminem phase continues!
Zak calls me 'We're going to go to lunch, you have thirty minutes to get ready.' Five minutes later he arrives. WOOF! And he's such a liar that he kept telling me that I looked beautiful ;) I looked like JIZZ! But we went to lunch with Zacho and it was fun :) Except when Zak told me that eminem was overrated. GET OUT. I can't believe you. FRIENDSHIP OVER!!! We got our prom pictures though :) :) :) they are so so so so cute :) :) :) But when I was with Zak I was texting Hek and he got JEALOUS :) it was the cutest thing ever! :) we thought we saw Eric and Robin, and we both just flipped our flip ;) Bahaha I love us :) upon closer inspection, it was an asian and some short white chick...
Tanning :) I'm getting hella dark :) I still keep getting told that :) and my hair looks super blonde and my teeth look so white :) perfection :)
I went to take a book back to the library and I saw slutSkye. 'Adri, how are you??' I'm GREAT!!! :) (blah blah useless chatter) 'And hey, how's Drake?!' Ehmagod, he's amazing! Didn't you hear?! Me and him have been together for almost eight months now! I see her stunned face, turn on my heel, and walk away with a strut in my step. I love telling her that, because that was always her biggest fear :) for Drake to fall for me :) little did she know... ;)

Success is my only mothaf*ckin option, failures not.

So my iPhone auto corrects dtf to STD :) bahahaha :))

Ohmygod! This was totally the mermaid theory!!!!
You used to be an ugly manatee sweetheart :)

It's something that we have no control over and that's what destiny is.

The most common said phrase to me was 'ohmygosh you look so tan! what did you do over spring break?!' I usually answered with lies that varied among morocco and fiji ;) they never believed me, so eventually I would own up to electric beach :)
I got up so early today :| it was a tad unpleasant :| And somehow I still managed to look pretty good :) So I wanted to go to the John Bytheway thing so bad :) unfortunately he was like twenty minutes late, and I had to leave early for cosmetology, so I only got to see him for about fifteen minutes :/ but it was good for those few minutes :) THOU SHALT NOT SCREW UP THY LIFE!!! AristotleSocratesMORONS
I missed my girls so much :) :) :) They made me so happy how they all told me that I looked good and so cute and tan :) I love them :) And we did a tapered haircut. Julie warned us that it was super hard, so of course she decided to ignore me every time I whined for help. So I had to do it ALL BY MYSELF!!! It looked alright :) everyone had at least one hole in the haircut, me included :/ me and Megan are gonna go prom dress shopping and I'm so excited to go to her prom :) :) SO excited!
Have I mentioned how I'm going through an extreme eminem obsession lately? He's like a drug. It's starts out with 'hmm, maybe I'll listen to a little eminem' then a little later, most likely when you don't have headphones, it's like I NEED EMINEM! You always even know exactly which song. It's been mockingbird all day...
My seminary class is so sweet to me :) all the boys gravitated towards where I sit :) and when I got out my lotion every single one of them asked if they could use it :) And one of them (idk his name) kept telling me that I look exactly like a barbie :) Jillian is my bff in that class though :) I really like charles though :)
English was alright :) I actually did my work! And I talked to Chelsea about the book that she's writing :) she's the chillest sub ever and her book sounds SO amazing! There's an entire chapter just about body language and love :) I don't know how to explain it, but it sounds awesome :) Nik wasn't there though so I texted him like wtf? And he was like I have an ulcer will you get the worksheet for me. And I'm such a good friend that I did ;)
I got to see Thane today :)) I miss him so much! :) :)
I went to the doctors today... I should have known that it would be fantastic news! (How would you know that Adri?!) Because the radio god told me when Eminem played on my way to the doctors :) I believe that the radio can show us our fate :)) Anyways... MY FEET ARE CURED :) :) :) :) :) :) YESSSS!!! :) :) :) :) I literally cheered :) :) :) so excited that I could DANCE! :) Goodness it made my day to hear that we were done :) After I creeped Taya's address so I can finally send her my graduation invitation :)
Tanning :) I'm up to 25 minutes :) I WILL get to full time :) Tomorrow I'll do 27 :)) then finally 30 :)

And if you ask me to Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird, I'ma give you the world I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you I'll do anything for you to see you smile.
 

Maybe I'm alone in this, but I find peace in solitude.

Cool story babe. Lets get sleazy.
So friday night me and Katie had a sleepover :)) I missed the guts out of her! It had seriously been so freaking long! We didn't do much, but I just wanted to see her :) we started out by watching 8 Mile. And ohmy, I'm so in love with eminem that it isn't even funny. SO in love with him. He's hella gorgeous :)))
How could six dicks be such a big pussy? :))
But so then we watched this movie session nine and it was the most confusing scary movie ever. We were all too dumb to understand it... DO IT GEORGE. Then we started to watch some trailer park movie, but we went and changed into pajamas instead :) and I am so proud of us! We stayed up past midnight ;) we haven't done that since about eight grade ;) And we just talked about everything :) mostly about what will happen after we graduate. I'm excited :) 'I just don't see any reason why me and Ryan would break up.' ..yeah, it sure can sneak up you, let me tell you. But so the next day we hella slept in and then we watched Ted Bundy. It sketched me out, not because it was scary, but because it seemed like it was his girlfriends fault that he turned out the way he did. And it makes me wonder if I've ever seriously screwed anyone over to the point where they're going to kill a million girls all over the country. I feel bad for Stephanie because she would have had to tell all those people that she dated Ted Bundy, and that would just be super embarrassing. Not embarrassing, but I can't think of a better word for it.
We eat the most nutritious lunches :) pizza rolls, taquitos, gogurt :)) awh yeah. But so then we super wanted to go hot tubbing (after we had seriously just spent ALL that time doing our hair and makeup and getting dressed) so we eventually ended up at Stephanie's house. She's pretty chill, but I don't think I could ever be close to her. She seemed like one of those girls that won't go out without makeup on, and that always bugs me. She seriously took off makeup just to put it back on. Inside I was screaming a little, because I was definitely ready to GO HOME. So after that I did. And I was deadddd tired. Me and Colton were going to hang out, but I was just too droopy and tired, so I ditched like a douche. I went to bed instead :)
Today was Alex's homecoming so I made damn sure that I looked amazing. Why? Because he used to be a complete ASS to me. So I wanted to be like look how awesome I look now after two years :) When I walked into the chapel I could definitely tell that he couldn't tell who I was until Ben came in too :) I could feeeeel him staring at me :) after his talk he was just like 'You grew up!' Yes I did :) and quite nicely too, didn't I ;) I got to see Pam nixon though :))) she was like my second mom when I was little! I was so sad when she moved away! She looks great :) and she just makes me smile a lot 'You must have boys knockin down your door!' :) You're so sweet :) I'm really thankful that she's in remission now :) The stake president found me :| I'm now speaking at seminary graduation :| damnit.
I can't believe school starts tomorrow :/ wooooof.
A year ago today was the first time we kissed. I remember. You had a rainbow on your face and I had a butterfly on mine. I remember exactly what I was wearing, even down to my wii boxers. I even remember exactly what you were wearing. You gave it to me for valentines day. It's so weird to think that it was a year ago. That we went through every season together. It's just weird. I hate the fact that I still keep finding stuff I made for you. Pictures I drew and letters I wrote. I hate the constant reminder that I'd fallen for you so deeply, and now I just have to throw all of the stuff away. Just throw it all away.

Does she get the same big rush when you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?

Toooo tired to blog. Tomorrow.

It should have been a year.

Lunch with Terbear :)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Life Alert can save me!
I think the only difference between Ke$ha and Taylor Swift is a bottle of jack and a container of glitter.
WRONG!
Well, I would have to say that love is when the one you love breaks your heart and you can't help but love them with all the shattered pieces.
Next time you're ever in doubt just ask yourself 'What would regina george do?!' :))
I can't for the life of me figure out why it takes small children so long to GROW UP! I think they do it deliberately just to annoy me! :)))
Terance is getting pretty good at insults and comebacks ;) 'Terance you're a squirming work of vomit!' '...yeah... well, you're a SLUG!' WHOA! That hurt, Terbear ;)
So we're just chillin there and then we here it. 'This one is for a girl named Adri Lynne from her Drakey poo.' 'Ohh her eyes, her eyes...' I HATE BRUNO MARS!!! So I texted him and I was like how do you know when and where to dedicate it?! 'I know your presets. And I dedicate it at least ten times a day. Because even if you don't hear it, some chick out there thinks that 'Drakey Poo' is a pretty cute guy ;)'
Terbear is so cute :) he gave me 'Leaves of Grass' by walt whitman because that's the book that was in the notebook and he knows I'm going through a huge notebook phase ;) and he gave me this book where of lists :) but he wants me to fill it out and give it back to him because he wants to know as much about me as possible :)
When we said goodbye he was about to kiss me, but I was just like 'WHOA WHOA WHOA! I don't want Dixon to break our noses!' So he was just like 'He won't break yours. Just mine, and it will be worth it.' But I decided I would rather not have a Terbear with a broken nose and a Dixon in jail :) I got so many butterflies though :) more than I have in a long time, like in over a year. And we didn't even kiss, that's the crazy part ;)
xxxxx

Don't worry, I let you go. Long before you left me.

Today was great :) but I suppose I should start with last night, since that's the proper order of these things.
I went hot tubbing (again.. I know... having a friend with a hot tub is an ultimate score though) with Jordan and Desi and Colton :) It was way fun :) we're kinda creepy stalkers... This chick called Jordan and was like 'is this Jordan?' So he was just like yes... then she hung up :| of course we called her back immediately to try to discover what the deal is, but all she said was that her friend wanted to know. So we did some google searches and come facebook checks. And surprisingly we caught the whore :) We are THAT good at being creepy ;) but so then we were all about to get in the hot tub and Desi was just like 'Do you like Colton?' So I did an Idk smile shrug. And then she was just telling me that he really likes me (:) :) :) :) :) :)) and that he thinks I'm really pretty :) :) :) :) It made me smile kinda pretty big because it feels nice to be admired and appreciated ;) but he's also a super shy kid and it's adorable because he doesn't do anything about it, but you can tell he wants to :) I think it is SO cute how shy he is :) We had to baby sit Jordans niece a little too and me and Desi taught him how to change her diaper :) she was the cutest little baby :) and I hate babies :) but so then on our way home, I saw IT. The very same spider that we had discovered when we went to fiveguys. IT'S A REOCCURRING SPIDER!!! And it was right next to ME! So Desi, being the brave one, handed me her shoe. And I took a good old whack at it. But it was one of those moments where it's like 'Omgomgomg did I get it??? Where did it go??? What happened to it???' And Colton is one of those guys that's like '(ha she's afraid)... OMG IT'S ON YOU! IT'S ON YOUR FACE!!!! OMG!' Needless to say, there was a lot of screaming, screeching, and wailing that happened. And once I was intelligent enough to realize that he was being a typical guy, there was a lot of hitting and slapping that happened (in a very flirtatious way of course!) It was ridiculous :) But so then we got to Coltons house and Desi leaves to go get milk (can't you just tell your family to get it from your goats???), but Jordan is like I'm gonna go with Desi. Of course Jordan did this as a bro trying to be a wingman. But Colton's super shy :) and it was cute :) then home and le sleepy time :)
Zakary came over today as planned :) but I was a very odd sleeper last night and ended up hella sleeping in. So when the doorbell rang I was a little taken aback. (Unprepared can also be used here) So I open the door. Let him in. And run away. 'Hold on! Let me go put on a bra!' ...That's definitely a downside to sleeping in bikini tops... but so then I was like ooober hungry so I was like mcdonalds now. It took convincing for sure, but I got my mcdonalds :) I was wayy bummed that I missed the breakfast menu, but milkshakes and fries also hit the spot ;) Except that Zak drank more of my milkshake than he did his rootbeer! Him: 'There, just finished ten chicken nuggets' Me: 'Nine.' 'You had one?!' 'I TOLD you I did... you watched me eat it!' :)) but then it was quite odd. I just started tearing up. And as soon as he said I looked like I was about to cry. It happened. FLOODS! Not quite, but it's a good visual ;) I don't know what brought it on, but I just started to cry. And him, being a completely amazing friend, held me and told me to tell him. I didn't want to tell him though because it made me seem like a DICK, but he's one of my bestfriends. So I told him. I just missed Eric. I don't want him, and I know he isn't right, but for some reason I just MISSED him. And it was hella random. It probably had to do with my stupid dream last night, but it was retardeee. But Zak is such a good guy, wiping my tears and mascara and telling me he understands. I still felt like a douche though. No guy wants a girl in their arms to start crying about an ex. I'm a demon. Once I calmed down (fun fact: this tear fest only lasted like five minutes I'm proud to say) Zak continued to rub my back and then told my that my 'girl side was showing' :| WHATEVER alright :)) Yes, I'm basically a dude when it comes to vagina jokes and bitch in the kitchen jokes, and actually a lot of other things, BUT MY HEART IS THE HEART OF A GIRL!!! :| woof... anyways, so then we decided to go longboarding, which lasted a very short time because of stupid utah weather! But we decided that we're going to go canoeing :) Someday :) we're gonna do a lot of epic stuff 'someday' :) I like that feeling :) OHHH and we FINALLY took a super chill picture in those sunglasses :) UNFORTUNATELY it's on his camera, so I'll have to bully him until he posts it on facebook! I'm good at being a bully to him though ;)
Then tanning :) upped my time. But after I went, I COULD NOT GET WARM... It was a TRAGEDY. So I took a bath, that lasted aprox. two hours. And my mother kept me company. We talked about pretty much everything. I love when we do that :) you can tell she finds great joy in seeing me go out with a lot of guys instead of just one :)
Thinkin Titanic tonight :) either that or le sleepy time :) I just want a night in tonight :)
Last night wasn't a happy night with all my bad dreams, but today definitely was :)
xxxxxx

AMAZING NIGHT :))) :))) :)))
I'll blog tomorrow :)

Grown in Earth, nourished by the water, carried by the wind, and burned by the fire.

The productivity of today: roll out of bed at 10:37. Immediately go to tanning salon. Fall asleep for another twenty minutes. Go home. Make myself an amazing breakfast. Nap. Bahaha why am I so sleepy all the time now???
'I'm making a compost pile at the U. Everyday I throw my banana on the ground. Now there's a whole pile of them. Except for today. Because someone bet me that I couldn't throw it on the roof. So I DID!'
Me and my mom were discussing all the items that I've accumulated from boys, and my ungratefulness started to show ;) 'Terance used to make me the most beautiful friendship bracelets and I would always throw them in my backpack and lose them. Then Dixon presented me with a purple string. That I continued to wear everyday until the day it broke. Then one day, Terance made me another beautiful bracelet, but I chose to wear rubberbands that Dixon gave me instead' ;) unnnngratefulll. I still wear Triton's shirt almost constantly :) if he's single any time soon, I'll jump on that so quick ;)
Every night me and Zak fall asleep begging each other to sneak out and come over. It leaves me sleeping peacefully and long. He's so sweet :))
I went to the eyedoctors today and I was like that's it, where's my favorite receptionist lady. So I asked the guy if Stephanie still worked there. He told me no, because she was starting to get really sick again. I had no idea that she had cancer. Because she was the happiest woman that I know. 'Even when she was in pain she would smile, because it helped take her mind off the pain and if she showed her pain, she would be miserable. And she would say what good is it to be miserable?' I wish there was some way that I could go see her or write her a letter, because she always inspired me. She would always remember me and I remember her always being there when I was little. She really cared about people. She always remembered that I wanted to make my own prom dress and she always said that I would have to show her a picture. Now I can't. I'm really going to miss seeing her.
Even my mom makes fun of Terance :) smd :)
Zak tomorrow :) :) :) Terbear friday :( (just kidding lovee)
antm tonight :)
xxxxx

I just finished watching step mom and I couldn't stop crying. Mom, I just want to let you know that I love you. More than anyone else in this world. You're the one person that has always been there for no matter what and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you for everything that you do. For comforting me when I get sick (sorry it's been so much this year...) for always remembering the important details in my life, for sewing me the most gorgeous dress in the world, for all the panties you've bought me through the rough times, for all the girl talk we have. Thank you for wiping every single tear, I know there have been a lot in the last month, but I really do appreciate you always holding me while I cry about love and heartbreak. Thank you for staying up with me just because I feel lonely and for taking me out to lunch just because I need to be with somebody. You always know exactly when to hug me. And I know I roll my eyes every time somebody says I look like you, but secretly I don't mind if I look like you. Because you're gorgeous, mom. The most gorgeous woman that I know. I watch you go through so much, weathering the storms as best as you can, and I know sometimes you lose faith, but I know that you have the strength to carry on. And I'm sorry for all the times that I make you go through it all alone, but I promise that I'm going to be there for you from now on. When I was little and you would say that moms don't get sick and that you were too busy to get sick, I took that so literally. I thought that as soon as you were a mother, sickness was immediately gone. Now I'm not so dumb, now I see that you just become less selfish when you're a mom. You worry more about your kids than the sniffles and sneezes. Thank you for always worrying about me. You make me feel like I'm worth caring about and like I'm worth thinking about and worth being worried about. Mom, you're my best friend. The best one I've ever had and ever will have. As long as I have you, I don't need anybody else. I know it sounds silly to think about, but I can't wait for my wedding day, when you'll be there in that room with me, fluffing my dress, adjusting my veil, and fixing my hair, and telling me that I look pretty. I look forward to sharing that moment with you. It's a long ways away, but I just want you to know that nobody will take your place. Not on that day, not ever. I feel like sometimes you worry that if I marry Terance, I'll forget about you and ditch you for Tera. And Tera's great and all, but that could never happen. Nobody comes close to my mom. No one understands me as much as you do or loves me as much as you do. I could never replace you. You're the most amazing mom that I could possibly ask for, thank you for choosing me in the pre mortal life. Thank you for being my best friend. In complete honesty, I'm more afraid of having you die than of me dying. I can't imagine my life without you ever. I know we will be together forever though. I love you more than I could possibly express.
Love, Forever, Adriana xxxxx

I'm addicted, wanna jump inside your love.

Clearly, I'm a stripper :) Sorry for the panties flashes sweets ;) I want to look like an indian child by the end of this week. Tomorrow, I will up my time to ensure that this happens :) 

I went and had lunch with my mumma today because I enjoy her company :) and it was super delicious :) we talked about recentcies in my life and how we both think that people are stupid :) then we went and talked to this lady for cosmetology :))) 'Do you know Robbin Jones? You look like a dancer, so I thought you would know her' :)) I LOVE Robbin :)) she's my favorite teacher ever :) And I love when people say that I 'look like a dancer' I love it :) it's such a small world! I had no idea that Robbin was a cheerleader :) It totally makes sense though.

On my way to tanning today I had a guy with a british accent tell me that he thought my diamonds were lush :) :) :) omgomgomg thank you! The only reason it's even cool is because he's BRITISH! :) and he said it was LUSH! I love you britishman! 

All these guys that check me out at slcc :) thankk you <33

Pictorials of life

Jessica hella makes me smile :)

idk why this made me bahaha so much:)

I want the world to see you be with me.

I had the most amazing dreams last night :) I don't really know what they were about, but it felt like a fairy tale. I honestly can't say what happened during it, but when I would wake up every once in a while I felt like I was a princess and like I was floating on love. It was the best feeling ever :)
I think a big part of why I had such good dreams is because I fell asleep after conversing with Zakary until almost 1:30 :) and then I woke up to a text from him that made me smile really big :)) he's cute :)
Me and Colton might hang out today :) idk :)
When I'm feeling less lazy, I'll do some pictorials later :))

I hate how I love you more than I hate you, but I love hating you just enough to think about you those few seconds less everyday than I normally would because I love you so much.

you > the world

If it feels right then everythings fine.

I was in such dire need of a Zakary hug that I drove out to american fork to visit him at work :) it was definitely well worth it :) even though I kinda got lost, but didn't really. I like thought I was lost so I pulled over and asked this guy for directions. 'Where's the target?' (looks at me like I'm stupid) '...See the sign?' I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO IT :| So then I get there and I call Zak. No answer :| so I creep around and somehow, some crazy way I happened to stumble upon Zak himself :)) So he took his break and we got some breadsticks :) I told him all about the dramatics over the weekend. 'Does he know you at all?? If he did he would know that you wouldn't do that...' Zak, you're so sweet :) you pretty much quoted my blog and you don't even know it ;) and I was telling him about the date I went on and he was like 'Are you trying to replace me?!' He was joking but he wasn't if that makes sense ;) he is ADORABLE :) Hopefully we're gonna hang out on thursday :) It feels like an eternity away :| he works sooo much :| What's that stupid saying about absence makes the heart grow fonder? ;) it's something like that ;)
I ripped off my nails.. it was for the best... but now I'm just antsy to get em done again :) I wanna give them time to breathe though :) Because they haven't been bare in three months... I'll give em a week ;) I just need my acrylics, they feel all vulnerable without them! But I decided that over the summer, no fake nails for me :))
I'm glad that Zak got such a kick out of thingsthatmakeyouhorny :) I think it's the best :)
I hope tomorrow is the bomb diggity ;)

We can make it if you want to baby :)

No, I don't give an eff-word about you.

Dixon, you do it way better than her, but I just needed to see it again.

OHMYGOD why they jeans so tight??

It feels exactly like summer :) despite this weather, it's summer time :) waking up after ten still wearing a bikini top and having to wonder for a moment who's boxers you're wearing ;) defo summer time :) I went tanning and it was nice :) I like the girl that's been working there recently :) maybe she'll be able to remember how to spell my last name one of these days ;) I just want to be tan now!!!
On my way to tanning, love story came on and I loooost it. I don't know why it overwhelmed me so much, but I cried my eyes out. I miss Dixon... I miss seeing him sign the songs out to me (especially the sign about Juliette having a rockin body;)) I just miss everything about him... so much. So I called him and hearing his voice made me cry even harder. 'Hey, babe I was just about to call you!' (Sniffle) 'What's wrong, Adri?' In my hideous crying voice I told him I miss him. 'I miss you too, Adri. I can't even tell you how much I do. I thought withdrawals from meth were a bitch, but they ain't got shit on withdrawals from you. You're still single right?' When I told him yes, he literally yelled out with happiness. Literally SHOUTED. 'And you still will be when I get home from college right?! Because I've been waiting for my chance since your sophomore year. And I swear to god if you and Terance start going out again before then, I'll break both of your noses. Because he had his chance, so now he has to get back in the end of the line! It's my turn! When I get home, lets go on a date. And I'm not kidding when I say, when I get home. The very second I do it's date time. We can go to a concert or something... YESSSSS.' I think I did a pretty pro job at quoting this :) I love him :) I love all my boys :) they make me feel absolutely gorgeous and important, like I'm the only girl alive, and the only one that's worthwhile to pursue. They make me feel like I'm the most important thing to them, more important than food and water, they make me feel more important than the SUN. They make me happy and they make me smile so big. The only times they make me cry is when they are too far away from me. Dixon, thanks for everything baby. In all complete honesty, you are the most gorgeous guy I know. And you're amazing on the inside. You're MY Dixy poo and I have complete faith in you.
xxxxx

There was a good man named Paul Revere, I feel much better baby when you're near

Sooo. I'll be a hypocrite. Right after my long rant of how much friends suck and how I hate everyone... I went hot tubbing with Jordan and Colton :) we had a whalee of a time :) yeeee I saw em checkin me out ;) take a gander boys because my name is Adri and I'm officially back in the dating game full throttle. And I should probably mention that I'm hella pro at this game ;) bring it.
So we tubbed then I was like 'Jordan get me some food.' and he said something along the lines of 'I won't get it for you, you've gotta come too.' There was probably some bitch in the kitchen joke in there too ;) just knowing him there would be ;) so then we went to get changed and I was like fuuu I don't have any panties. And just joking he was like, you can have some of my boxers. Yeah. I'm wearing his boxers right now. He told me to keep em ;) already plannin on it ;)
so we went to five guys :) it was hella good :) and they gave us free fries :)) and then Eric calls me. Not even thinking, I answer the phone. (I'm such a dumbass at ignoring people) And he's just like I'm sorry, you don't have to be worried about your stuff or anything getting vandalized. I'm sure. My mom is still going to call the cops because we've had too much shit done to us and you've broken too many promises to me. I don't trust you anymore. I made that mistake too many times. I used to want to be friends, but I just want you out of my life now. Peacefully. I hate that it has to end with so much hatred, but if that's how it's going to be, I can't stop it. I always own up to the damage I do. The bread I throw the eggs I toss. I own up. And if you knew me at all, the way you claimed to have, then you would know that I wouldn't do that to you. Because I loved you. I did. And that doesn't just end, not for me anyways. I don't want you anymore, but I still love you. And if you knew me at all, even just a little, you know I wouldn't do that to you. Especially when I'm 18 and especially when I would obviously be a prime suspect and when I've already been in a shit load of trouble. Yeah, I can be a little vapid sometimes, but I'm not a complete dumbass. I'm not dumb enough to do that, and I honestly don't care about you enough to go through all the trouble. So go ahead and believe that I did it, but you believing that just proves to me that you knew nothing about me. And that I just completely wasted a year of my life.

I wish Zak wasn't working tomorrow :| I just need a good old Zakary hug. He's an amazing friend. One of the best. 'if he does anything let me know' thanks sweetheart. You're a great guy. Thanks for always having my back through all the years. For wiping my tears, letting me lean on you, for the advice on what to wear after a breakup, and for always making me smile. I'm so glad that I met you at that region dance all those thousands of years ago. I'm grateful that you took me to my first and last formal dances and that you were the guy that first kissed me. It was all perfect. I wouldn't change a second of it. I love you, Zak.

Problem: punk ass kids :)
Solution: bring me the horizon fullblast+burn book+ extreme amount of swearing= pure bliss :)

Done.

My title says it all. I am FUCKING done. THIS IS WHY I DON'T MAKE FUCKING FRIENDS! Because I'm HAPPY by myself! I don't stab myself in the back. I don't accuse myself of shit I don't do. I'm CONTENT JUST BEING ALONE! But then everyone fucking worries about me. Even though I find myself at much more peace when I am ON MY OWN. I don't need anyone. I LIKE staying home on saturday nights and friday nights. Because then at least I don't get accused of childish shittt. It's a lot better that way too. Being out of trouble is hella better than having friends. I CAN BE MY OWN GODDAMN FRIEND. Because I do a shitload better job at it then anyone else possibly could. I'm fucking tired of putting so much into all these fucking relationships and then just being fucked over. I always get fucking SCREWED. You're all just FUCKING HYPOCRITES. ALL of you! And I can't fucking stand any of you. I'm going to write the most slandering note in my journal, show it to Terbear, and then rip it to pieces yelling mwahahaha :)))
Ok, so maybe this post is a tad childish, but I feel much better. Zak's right, just saying fuck makes it all better :)
The worst part is is that I WASTED an entire graduation announcement on Eric, because a long time ago I promised that I would fucking send him one. And unlike all you other cunts in the world, I keep my goddamn fucking promises! And I wrote him a goddamn letter, which I poured my whole fucking heart into and when he gets it he'll just be like 'wow what a fucking joke.' WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID AND TRUSTING ENOUGH TO THINK THAT PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE GOOD PEOPLE! There are NO good people in this world! Except for me and my fucking dog ;)
If the world spontaneously combusted, I wouldn't give a flying fuck. And even if it doesn't spontaneously combust, I STILL don't give a flying fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

I'll admit it. I laughed my way through this whole thing. And laughed harder when I reread it. Oh, Adri, you retarded. :)) NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE AGAIN!!! I will become famous on tumblr and NEVER LEAVE THIS HOME AGAIN!!!! (sorry mother, but you'll support me my whole life now) Nevernevernever!!!!

My askbox on tumblr is is getting blown up :))
Followers :) :) :) lovelovelovelove :)))

I radiate in chaos and live in madness.

Yesterday I felt extremely bamf because I was wearing my 'take it off underwear' (the ones that me and my mumma went to GREAT lengths to get) and I had a dollar sign on hip :) I AM SO KE$HA! :))) 'Baller dollerrr, babay' Drake you so crazy :)
So last night I was pondering Kira's words and it sketched me out :| she said that she had me and my girls on camera so then I started to think about it... the only time we hang out outside of hair school is when we go tanning :| SHE MUST HAVE NAKED VIDEOS OF US. I pray to god that I'm just being dramatic and over-thinking everything. And maybe that's what she wants. Oh dear god what is going on???? Fuuuu I hate this feeling.
I hope today is good. Goodluck speaking in sacrament today Terbear :) you're gonna do awesome :)))
I woke up hella too early today. Me so sick. Me no sleep. But my abs :) dayuummm :)) hopefully hottubbing with colton, jordan, and desi this week :)) hope hope hope :))
Me and Colton thought it was a full moon yesterday :) apparently it isn't, my mumma just said something to the affect of 'it wasn't the full moon last night something about the bottom not being round'
I actually adore this weather :) idk why. DKNY.
I'm contemplating taking a bubble bath :) this is where I will think about Jessica ;) and I'll have a whale of a time doing so.
'Who are the girls in that picture.' Oh that's my girlfriend Megan. And that's the girl I cheat on Megan with, Jessica :))) I love them :)))
'Is it a dream? No it's DW...' :) if I don't have a child exactly like Dw I'm gonna be lit.

An absolute whaleee of a time :))

1. Grow my hair really long & keep it healthy
2. Become less attached to my iPhone
3. Live for the moment and stop worrying about the future/waiting on the past
4. Move on
5. Fun > Serious

Infect me with your lovin, fill me with your poison.

Today was pretty good :) I got all my graduation invitations addressed and everything :)) I used ALL 25 of them I'm proud to admit :)) And yes, I did send one to Ke$ha :) I KNOW she'll be there! I KNOW it!
Then tanning :) I upped my time a little and I'm getting there :) I'll be tan soon :)
Me and Colton were supposed to go hottubbing, but it was a bust, so we went on a date instead :) we went to subzero and it was so freaking good :)) I don't even know which one we got, but is was so so so good :) And I saw Taylor Challis there! She's so little, it's weird to think about how young she looks when she's only a year younger than me. I wonder if I looked that young last year... But so after we got icecream we watched the best movie ever! SPACE JAM! :)) I remember when I was little I thought that movie was so good and that it looked so real... Oh, young Adri, you were extremely foolish, because that movie has the worst edits/effects ever :) but it was still way fun to watch it :) I always feel super comfortable with Colton :) he's a pretty chill guy and he's an amazing friend. It's easy to talk to him, even if he is really quiet ;) After space jam we went to the park by his house and we swung for a while :) And I found out that he had never done the spider!!! The boy lives under a rock ;) He gave me an underdog though :) it reminded me of when me and Mitchell and Dylann went to a park over the summer. And when Dylann gave me an underdog too :) that day was fun. Anyways, so then we just sat on the playground and talked about haunted hospitals. I don't know how or why that came up? But I want to go to one so badly! Especially to the top floor! Because Megan's mom said that's where they keep the psychotic people! Sounds pretty sketchy to me :) I miss my girls so much :/ I really hope we hang out this week and we go to 539 or whatever those numbers were :) I'm thinking sleepover :)) Anyways so me and Colton were just chillin there and then Eric texts me and is like 'be more obvious next time bitch' ..About what? What the hell? And then Kira texts me saying she caught me and my cosmetology girls on camera? Doing what?? Like hair at school? And I texted both of them back being like what? And they don't reply so it's like? Ummm, alright? Whatever?
Zak makes me smile :) today I realized something scary, I've kinda sorta liked him since freshman year :| I think it's just because he's such a good friend to me. He's the only guy EVER that has said they like me better without my extensions in... Like other guys say I'm still pretty, but I just look better with them. It makes me smile that he thinks the real me is pretty :) even without my hair and with hardly any makeup on :) He's a sweet guy :))
I FORGOT! I went bra shopping today :) :) :) I got THE cutest new bra :))) It's the brightest pink ever and it has RHINESTONES on it!!! It was basically screaming my name!!! I just want to chill with megan so she can see it :)) and I got a super adorable utes sweatshirt :) it made me think of terbear :) so immediately put it on because it was so so so soft :))
I was checking out drake's blog for the first time in a long time, ohmygoodness I can FINALLY relate with him... in so many ways that I didn't even expect. Drake, I'm so sorry about what happened with Skye, baby. I can understand better now. I'm sorry I didn't before. You're justeffmylife post is the one I could relate the most with. Thanks for being my friend Drake. Foreverandeverandever.
 http://wetryandfailandleaveit.blogspot.com/   <333

It's only you, it's you and when you're with me..

Me: 'Terbear I'm so stupiddd:))'
'Hey. NOBODY calls my girl stupid. Not even my girl.' :)

He's so cute :)) and HEY! I am nobodies' girl :) not even my man's ;)
<333

Maybe deep down we're all addicts.
We all have something.
That one little weakness that makes you keep going back.
And maybe you're just mine...

It's the way that you fool everyone as you're falling in love

Me so sick :|
Last night was a movie night :) and I fell asleep reading a horror story :) so addicting :) I kinda want to read Amityville Horror again :) that was a good one :)
Anyways I wake up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache behind my left eye so I was like 'I'll just sleep it off' that didn't work... six in the morning fml :| so I tumblrd and read a little. Then somehow I fell back asleep and didn't get back up till eleven. I NEVER SLEEP THAT LONG. What is wrong with me :|
Today I hope to stop sniffling, sneezing, and coughing. Although the coughing is causing my abs to be extremely attractive, and factor in my newly bronzing tan and my tanning sticker, well, it doesn't take a math genius to figure out that it equals in gorgeousness :)) I just wanna go swimming or hot tubbing so someone can see what a sight it is to behold :)))
Yesterday when I went tanning me and Jay were just talking for a little while and I feel bad because Kercee like blew her off. She was supposed to come see her at work, but she didn't and she ignored her texts and phone calls. Then Jaylynn found out that Kercee was at our baseball game to watch Tanner. Tanner still has a girlfriend... and Kercee still ditches her friends for him :| that's so sad. Hopefully there was an excuse of some sort, because I really can't see Kercee doing that to anyone :( chicks before dicksss That's the cardinal rule.
Every night, Terance softly sweetly sings me to sleep. I love him <33

Gotta get down on Friday :)

SPRING BREAK :))))
I did Kenzee's hair today in cosmetology :) I didn't think I was going to like her blonde, but it actually looks super cute :) it took like a million years to do though! I'm getting freaking bomb at weaves though :)) But I stayed for a while extra to finish and stuff because I have home release and everything so I was just like :)) happy and content with staying :) so then when I finish I'm like 'I deserve cafe rio for this' :) when I was there I saw sister finn and sister bell and we talked for a moment or two :) I like them :) then Terbear (being all smooth and sly) was like 'Hey adri what are you up to' (or something to that affect) so I was like Kicking in at cafe riooo (or something to that affect) ;) so then two seconds later (in normal people time that would be five to seven minutes) Terance just comes strolling through the door and is like 'You're here?! I'M here!!!' He's a pretty big card stack :) toolbag! :)) but then he was like 'I'm mad at you... because you had to pay for your own food..' Come on Terbear... I pay for my own food all the time :) So we just chilled for a little then I went home and THE POWER WAS OUT!!! Disaster!!! So I was freezing and I couldn't go on the internet or do anything cool so I decided to go to the library :)) nothing special :) I found an amazing book that I'm way excited to read though :))
I FORGOT AN IMPORTANT STORY YESTERDAY!!! On my way home from school I was just driving along and then I saw.. I don't know how to word this very well apparently. So once upon a time, me and Eric were driving somewhere and we saw this guy in a wheelchair struggling to get his garbage can out of the road and into his driveway. And we promised that we would help him every thursday with his garbage. Well, that didn't happen, but yesterday on my way home from school I saw the guy trying to get his garbage moved, so I pulled over and helped him :) his name is Herb and he's way nice :)
'Lets go feed the ducks'
'The ducks have their own food! Do you want them to get fat?!' Oh Zakary :))
Broke a million more of my nails today :) bahaha it's like a sport now :)
happy :)) I missed megan, kercee, jaylynn, and kaitlin today though! <33

Random Person at cafe rio: 'Hey, Terance, whatupman?' (looks at me)
'Heybro, this is my girl Adri. We bang on the reg.' (Winks at me)
NOT OK TERBEAR! xxxxx

Pictorials of recentcies.

I don't care that that isn't a word, I like it :)

I think that was day two of tanning? Idk anymore :)

It was supposed to be a lot cooler than that... because Zak had his sunglasses like chillin there so I kept looking up and thinking something along the lines of 'damn, I look good' So then I decided to try to take a picture and it absolutely failed miserably :) except that it's pretty cute, because if you look hard enough we're holding hands ;) that means he's driving stick one-handed.. omg omg omg SO hott ;) 

Go ahead, call me a nerd, but it's super adorable that my chicken nugget was shaped like a heart :) I love when that happens because it's like a .2% chance that it will The only other time I had it happen was sophomore year :) and I specifically remember that because I sent a picture of it to terbear and told him that I 'chicken nugget' him :) Do you remember that sweetheart? We were so crazy :) I feel like little things like that are gods way of telling us to smile :) and to believe in love. It's especially cool because I got it right as I was like 'Love is retarded/for losers/nonexistent/for LOSERS' :) No it isn't :) it's for the patient that are willing to wait and have the courage to carry on :) lol at my winnie the pooh plate, we all know you were thinkin it ;)

My heart is in pain, but I'm smiling for you.

'Zak, I look terrible in yellow! It's because my hair is yellow!' No... your hair is blonde, there's a difference 'Then why when little kids draw me they use the yellow crayon?!' Because they don't make a blonde one. 'Touche'
I cannot be held accountable for the texts that I send at three in the morning :| I don't remember sending them at allll.. :|
In cosmetology today I brought paper and pens for me and Megan :) I finally payed for the date ;) me and my girlfriend :) it was a good date too :) the guest speaker was shite, but we had fun joking around :)
So I was changing out of my scrubs 'Guys do you think this looks ok?' Jessica: 'A sweater vest... wow' :) 'Do I just look like I'm going golfing??' :))
In seminary we talked about genealogy and it was all hohum and boring :) and MY NAIL BROKE!!! Fuuuu. So ima just file em down and get new ones next week :) I don't know what color yet :) maybe blue or maybe I'll do some good ol traditional white tips :)
English is amazing :)) I love our new sub :) just the way that she handles the class now, like we actually do english and take time to analyze the book and relate it to everything :) she leads the most amazing discussions :)) I like her a lot :) 'Guys I'm over it, don't worry.' (they roll their eyes) 'No I really am, I found a new distraction' ;)) (smile and laugh) :)
'I probably look like a druggie. Singing a beatles song with my Arizona and holding my bag of pharmaceuticals' Even the pharmacist gave me 'that look' when I asked for mucinex. I'M CONGESTED OK?! I don't do drugs... :)
Tanning then spring break tomorrow :)) omg omg omg :) gonna be great :) hopefully time with my girlfriend :) and hopefully bra shopping tonight :) [mumma, if you're reading this, I love you (puppy dog eyes) I really really love you...]

(said in sad voice) 'Mom, Jack died with Titanic 99 years ago..'
He wasn't even real
(whiny now) 'Yes he was!!!'

I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak. I must not cut my hair during heartbreak.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me ;)

Fantastic :)) that's what today was :))
In cosmetology I worked my behind off to catch up with everything and I mostly did :) and Kenzee cut her hair into an a-line :) it looks SO freaking adorable :) she is one of the cutest girls I know :)
Home release :)) me and Zak hung out and it was good news gorillas :)) we had fun :) 'My favorite color is yellow' 'Yellow is the most hideous color! Nothing is yellow! Contrary to popular belief the sun isn't yellow! It's blue! But you would look good in a yellow car...' :) he really likes my new haircut and he even said that it goes really good with my septum (my nose is a death nose, his is just regular :]) But lately I've been thinking about cutting my hair, like length off, and he (not knowing this) told me I should cut my hair. OH THE PAIN OF THIS INDECISIVENESS!!! idk what to dooo... Apparently Zak came in third place in state. In a pokemon competition. So maybe I won't kick his trash... He's such a nerd :) 'Adri, I'm gay' Awh jokes :) 'I think I just heard a random duck...' His fake gauges are the best :) and yeah, they do look hella gorgeous :)) So one of my nails broke into a super jagged edge. this caused me to threaten to shank zak with my nail... ohhh yes :)) And we've decided that Zak should be a weather man 'So it's sunny outside, but this is utah, so it should be raining in twenty minutes. See that little cloud over there? It will somehow expand all over and rain.' Surprisingly, he was right...  'Did you really listen to the Justin Bieber cd or was it like how you 'listened' to that friday song?' 'Let me straighten your hair, I'm a cosmetologist' 'I am too, well not really, but the skill comes to me because I'm gay' ;) Today was fun :)
Zakirilliac :) my dad is so crazyyy :) And Tank like kinda really likes Zak... to the point where he barks at him if he doesn't pet him... he barks a tonnn if Zak hugs me and ignores him... ok, Tank, don't be jealous...
I didn't go shopping today because I would rather chill with zak, but hopefully I'll go tomorrow :) I can't believe I ditched BRA SHOPPING to hang out with a guy... WHO AM I???
I got new contacts today :))) (angelic music plays) I CAN SEEEEE!

If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song <33

I've decided that all of us honestly like Tera more than we like Terance, but we have to keep him around for her ;) 'What's wrong with Terance?' ...He's too much of a momma's boy ;)

Seasons come and go, but I will never change

Zak: 'Adri's bad at sex!... the game...'
Ahahaha I love us :)
So everyday I send drake a picture of my tanning sticker process and never fails, his response makes me bahaha. 'Dolla dolla billya, bitch.' Lovelovelove :)
I want decorative spectacles :))
In cosmetology this morning I was hellaaaa irritable and I warned them, megan's response to that was that we needed to go to jamba :) I lerve her :) we cut a faux hawk today :) I did kinda shitty cause I was kinda sick, but my second time around I did AWESOME :) and we learned about beard and mustache shapes :) OHHH YES :) Danielle was buggin with all her 'blahty blah blah I went to skills blah blah I think I'm the sex' ...I couldn't help it, I mocked her. And cali saw me :| she laughed :) suck on that danielle everyone hates you :)
The morning bus driver makes me smile :) he told Julie that he adores how bubbly I am and he always notices when I don't take the bus :) I love you!
The new english substitute makes me happy :) 'Did your nose hurt? Does it stink?' Ummm :)
I went on a nice little walk with an amazing friend today :) 'Even Rachel always thought that you were too good for Eric. And she's never hated you.' 'Adri, it was just Eric, she can have him.' I'm really glad that you're my friend. You give amazing advice. Don't text him by the way, you're HELLA better than that and you deserve so much more than a scumbag like him can give you. Please realize how much better you can do. I know it would be easy to go back (believe me, I know), but in the end I know you would just regret it. Just wait and you'll find the right guy.
Today I was peaceful while I tanned :) it's nice :)
Today Tera sent me a picture. Of some of her lingerie! I don't think society would deem it appropriate to have my exboyfriends mom sending me pictures of such sexy panties :) they were gorgeous! I think I'm falling in love with lacy panties :) hopefully victorias secret tomorrow :) and zak :) :) :) [not at the same time just b t dub]
Bare haps :)

New hurr

Sexy tan scrubs :)

That you struggling, survivin, that you gon' persevere

this morning hey soul sister played on the radio and I just lost it. I bawled my heart out because I kept getting the chills during the entire song. I miss you Kaitlyn. I'll wear purple on this day for the rest of my life.
Happy birthday, Mitchell. I can't believe we're both eighteen now. That we're adults. I still remember meeting you way back when, when we were just little kids and thought the world was perfect. So much has changed since then. We're so different. I would say that my love never changed for you, but it did, it's a lot stronger than it was back then. Even now, you're still my best friend. Happy birthday.
i feel sick, so I'm sluffing seminary, but I can't miss English again :/
Yesterday I realized something huge. That it's time to not give a shit. That if you worry too much about life, then you don't have enough time to live it. Put the top down, even if it's still cold outside. Raise your arms and yell. Just scream. Don't worry about your hair getting all snarled and knotted up. Play your music as loud as you want and don't care who looks at you. Wear what you want if it makes you feel good. Don't listen to everyone that says to take your piercing out, because the ones that really love you won't give a shit. I'm done ditching my family for friends because in the end I like my family a whole lot better. I'm done worrying about soul mates and about marriage, if I like a guy I'll grab his hand and let him know. Honestly I don't give a shit about past relationships or how they ended, I just care about everything I learned from them. Thank god for every boyfriend I've had that I didn't end up being with forever, because thinking about it, every boyfriend led me to a new one. A better one. Thank god for every blessing, every trial, every tear, every smile. I'm through with saying I'm sorry, done. Because half the time I don't mean it, so what's the point? I'm going to start being brutally honest. I don't care about split ends, it's part of life and I'm not going to stress about it anymore. I'm going to tan my ass off and not worry about how I'll look when I'm older. I'm going to kiss who I want and mock everyone that bugs me. I'm going to finally just be me, who I want to be. I'm a drama queen with a loud voice that loves too hard and cares too much. I'm vain, to the point where I look in every mirror I pass. I dance like a freak and love people staring. I think too much, but don't do anything about it.
Ask any guy that's seen me in a bikini and they'll tell you I have a bangin body and that I'm curvier than you would expect. I've learned to like my hips and even grown to love my butt. Ask any guy that's touched even just my arm and they'll tell you how soft my skin is. THAT'S who I am. The girl with weird quirks like soft skin and unexpectancies like curves. I'm not who you want me to be, but I like it that way.
Hi, my names Aydree and I like myself now. And I'm not gonna stop saying hella :)

I can't believe it was a year ago. Well a year ago tomorrow. When we all wore purple and everyone cried. I miss you. Seeing you in the library during aid. And you would give me advice about everything under the sun. We would talk about the dumbest things. But it's something that I really miss. Even in the end you were beautiful. Thank you for being a part of my life and for being my friend. On Facebook it still says awaiting friend confirmation. I'll be waiting forever. Soul sister plays on the radio and never fail I think of you. I miss you so much. Give me strength. Like the kind that you had. You were amazing. Thank you for inspiring me. I can't wait to see you again. To give you a hug and tell you all that's been going on here. Save a dance for me. You don't even know what a huge impact you had on me. Everyone misses you. But I know you're out there. The world needs more people like you. I hope I can be like you one day. Be with me tomorrow.
Xxxxx

[your name may or may not be inserted here]

'So who's the selfish backstabbing bitch?'
YOU, TERA TROVER!!!!! YOU!!!

All I need is a one night scandal

So it's official!!! Me and Ben are getting married!!!
Bahaha so me and jammin went to target to my wedding barbie and the lady at the cash register was like 'Awh are you guys getting married?' And I thought she was joking so I was just like yeah of course! Then she went on about how she could see how happy we were and how people like us make her believe in love. Me and my brother? But I continued to lie to her :) our big day is April 30th we're registered at target :) buy us wedding shit ;) and yehh we're incorporating barbie into our wedding :)
I love riding in a mini cooper :) you see other people driving in them and they give you a smile nod :) it's like a private freaking club!!!
So I saw the target worker that I asked to prom... only you'll understand zak ;)
Kercee: 'And now you love Zak???'
Well... I've known him since freshman year so yeah... I do... he's been one of my besss frennns since sophomore year...

LOL so a ton of people texted me thinking I was talking about them in the last line of my blog :) bahaha considering that it wasn't any of them, but they could see themselves in that line made me laugh a tad :) how many people are stealing my signature looks that I didn't even know about?? Here's to all the people that see themselves as a backstabbing selfish bitch! :)) None of you even know them :)
Life is jokes :)

I'm gonna live where the green grass grows

Unlimited tanning pass bitch :) 'Now that you have a dolla sign on your stomach will you strip for me? I'll tuck twentys in them panties ;)' Alright, slutDrake.. No :) wellll maybe ;) if you really would tuck twentys ;) jayy kayy jayy kayy :) 'Me and this girl Cassie that I work with have complete choreographed dance to ET' I wish I worked somewhere where they don't do shite...
Megan cut my hair today in cosmetology :) :) :) I really like it :) I sent Zakary a picture of it and he said he liked it too, buut I doubt he even noticed the difference ;) I was pissed that he called and I wasn't home :| I want him to see my hair in real life! So we're gonna hang out on wednesday instead and I'm hella excited :)
hella hella hella... that's like every other word out of my mouth these days :|
Every time I go tanning all I can think about it Jessica telling me about the one part in a movie where girls get stuck in a tanning bed and BURN TO DEATH!!!! Everyone talks about how peaceful tanning is, not to me thanks to jess! Now I have to worry about DEATH!!!
So me and Jammin are on a drive and this random chick next to us is like waving like crazy so I'm like wtf?? Then she rolls down her window... 'I LOVE YOUR CAR!!!' That's it... I hella need a mini...
'How do you know he's good at driving stick one handed?? Were you holding his hand?' :)))
I didn't know that it would be such a big deal wearing Eric's watch to prom.. but I had so many people tell me how funny that was today. I'm not just going to stop wearing it! I love that thing.. and it has a REAL DIAMOND in it! No chance I'm gonna stop wearing it :) and it reminds me of a year of good times :)
I feel amazing :) My skin is all super soft and in the process of getting tan and my new haircut is bomb :) I love this feeling :))
I'm stupid, but my rack is BIGGER than yours ;)
<33

BACKSTABBING SELFISH BITCH! Cheap imitation you are.
Low blow stealing my signature looks.

You're just too good to lose, and I can't refuse.

So I swear. During sacrament meeting. The Nebekers come in and Lydia is just like on my nerves. So I turn to my mother, and I don't mean to, but I'm just like 'Wow, Lydia is such a bitch..' THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME! I should be able to control my language in a chapel of all places :|

Porter broke his nose or something :) Probably when he was too busy getting fresh with taya ;) 

Lauree stopped me after church today and she was just telling me how grown up I am now and how pretty I've gotten :) she makes me so happy :) I love when grownups finally open their eyes and are just like 'Whoa!' :)

I'm pretty pissed about my money getting stolen in cosmetology :| I could have bought an unlimited tanning pass with that :( 

When my parents come home I'm gonna figure out if we're going to colorado for that funeral or not.

bang bang bangity bangity bang I said a bang bang bangity bang :))

We were never meant to be, baby we just happened

Yeah, sorry about this, but it's important (impertinent?) that I blog this one last time. I finished reading the notebook today, and I freaking bawled my eyes out. In the movie I cry because they die together. But in the book it's different. You cry because their love is so strong. Strong enough to break the bands of Alzheimer's. It made me cry more when she would remember him that when she would forget him. Because her being able to remember is because of Noah's patience and the love they have together. I want need deserve that love. Everyone does. Maybe it's just the sleepy, romantic, childish person in me, but I believe in perfect matches. And I won't rest until I find that one. I won't give up hope or passion, love or laughter, smiles or tears. I won't give up.