A will to survive and a voice of reason.

So I've been meaning to talk about this since umm well, yeah the first day of the year :| soo it's been a while. But the fact that I'm posting now is proof of how much it meant to me.
Me and Dixon were talking a while ago (ok... on january first) and he was telling me about how he's now been clean for over five months and any day now I know he'll be celebrating his six month pass :) I'm proud of him :) anyways! So me and him were talking about that and then the subject changed the the new year and how we've changed. My few changes were hardly anything drastic, but his was. He told me how nervous he was to go out on new years because he knew that the temptations would all be there, just testing his strength. He did make it though :) and he sent me this 'Last year I spent my new year higher than a kite, and drunker than anybody else at the party. I wasn't happy with who I was. I didn't like myself or what I was doing, but I kept doing it. This year my new years was mild. I didn't even bring in the year with a kiss. But I'm ok with that. Because I have goals that are for me and not for anyone else. If I can give you any advice from this whole thing, it's to find happiness in yourself. Not from other people, and definitely not from stuff or any substances. It's a long process, and I'll be honest, it's the hardest fucking thing you'll have to do, but you need to find happiness with yourself. You need to love who you are and learn to depend on yourself. That doesn't mean to not rely on a friend's shoulder here and there, but it means that if you have to cope, then you can do it by yourself. Please just find out who you are.'
Those texts have changed how I thought about everything. I need to learn to love who I am. I used to, so I know I can again. I'm going to try to develop talents and take care of myself in every way, I think that will really help me. But I know that I'm going to need god for this one too.