It feels like a romantic movie when it's raining.

Have you ever wondered about how two hands can fit so perfectly? Every line, every bone, every small detail flawlessly matched, mirrored. I have. I wonder everyday how holding your hand would make me feel complete almost, feel the love I need to feel. I don’t think you’ve noticed, but when we walk down the streets I would secretly sneak my hand next to yours, so they can accidentally meet as we speak. And I would always hope that you would take it and hold it in yours, so that we could see life hand in hand. And then you did. You held my hand in the softest of ways, our fingers clinging gently to each other’s heart. We were growing happiness between our thumbs as our skin lines came together like jigsaw pieces. You looked at me and smiled with that crooked smile of yours that gives me so many butterflies. I smiled back and put my head on to your shoulder. Have you ever wondered why love happens? I have. Everyday. And why you ended it.

Warning: i like to string words together often for no other reason than because they sound pretty.

Mention love and suddenly everyone starts thinking, really thinking about who they are, what they are, and what others think they are. It almost seems like love is a force that defines us, constructs the insides of our bodies. It is the bone muscle and marrow inside our body. Maybe love isn’t just an emotion. Maybe it isn’t a product of the media. Or just a chemical inside our body. Maybe love isn’t needing someone, but just wanting someone. Because we cannot choose what we need, but with want we have a choice. But do we choose who we will love or is that foreordained? Love is a tug on your insides giving you the weak in the knees feeling. Maybe love is the drive, the motivation, the want, the want to be wanted, the want, the want, the want.

To just be close with someone in every way, to wrap yourself in their thoughts, words, mistakes even, and just fall asleep.

I’ve been asking everyone what it means, but maybe it’s because I’ve been avoiding what it means to me. Because I think it’s different for everyone. And I’m scared to find out what love is. Because then if I don’t find it, I’ll know exactly what I’m missing. But even if nobody defined love, if it was never listed in the dictionary, it would still be. It’s eternal. Maybe it even changes with us. Evolves and grows as we do. Maybe it even dies sometimes. Maybe it’s unfound, just burrowed inside us. But still there just waiting for us to be ready.

I’m grateful for when you listen to me, truly listen and help me think about life even the bits and pieces I don’t want to think about. This is dedicated to you because even if you didn’t, you wrote these words for me. Good thing I got to know behind the gauges.

Sometimes on the way to what's supposed to happen, something even better happens.