Because you need to hear it again.

Colton James Dixon. I'm going to try not to get too cheesy on you. But don't count on it.
You've changed my life, Dixon. I wish I could tell you every single time that you've helped me get through something, but there are way too many times to count. I think about you way too much, but cry for you even more. It's so hard not having you here with me. I'm not as strong when you aren't with me, in such a drastic way that everyone notices. You're the one that taught me how to say whatever the hell I wanted to say, but I'm already starting to forget how. We both know that I could go on for hours about how good looking you are, but we also both know that isn't what you need to hear. You need to be told that you're personality is good looking too. And I think it is. Even when you aren't all messed up. To be honest, you've broken my heart more than any other guy in the world. But that's because there have been so many instances when you've almost not been in my life. I can still see you're stupid orange car leaving for California. It's still perfectly in my mind. And it still makes my heart sink. Not having you here to hold my hand doesn't sound like it should be hard, but when it comes down to it, I hate it more than you know. Sometimes you were the only thing that kept me from falling. And you still are, but it can't be in the same way that it was before. You're my best friend. And I know that doesn't sound like very much, but you know that it is. I wish I could write things like the way you do, but I honestly just don't know how to do that. But I wish I did. And I wish that I could help you as much as you help me daily. You're the one guy that doesn't mind when I call at three in the morning crying because I had a bad dream or because I got in a fight with someone. You make so many sacrifices for me, and I just sit here selfishly taking it all in. But I promise you that not a single minute goes by that I'm not grateful for what you do. Every single night when I get on my knees to pray you're the first thing I thank god for. I pray for you. Every single night. I would do anything for you. As long as it made you happy. Because sometimes you're smile is the only thing that makes this world keep spinning and my heart keep beating. I brag about you shamelessly to anyone that will listen. You're the person I text most, the person I waste the most minutes on. But with you it isn't wasting them, it's rejuvenating myself. If we hadn't have been friends, do you know where I would be? I don't even want to think about it because I know I wouldn't even be close to who I am today. And you're right, some people might say it was a turn for the worse, but they don't even know. They don't know that without you I was completely unhappy and that my smile was nothing but fake. That without you here to teach me I just believed what everyone told me. And worst of all that I judged people. Just by the way they looked. I don't know why you chose to be my friend, but I'm forever eternally thankful that you did. That you took me and helped to morph me into what I'm supposed to be. That you were able to help me form into what the world needs to be. Dixon, I want you to be in my life forever because I can't imagine not having a person in my life that annoys me so much. But also helps me to carry on. You're one of the only people that believe in me. Just that fact alone sets you apart from this earth. You are so much more extraordinary than you know and NOT just for the way your face looks. You're so smart in ways that I'm not at all. You know I'm not nearly as artistic are you are and that I would never in a million years get accepted at Berkeley like you. But I think it's because we're so different that makes us so perfect. I need you to stay in my life forever. Let me learn to make sacrifices that I've never made before. Let me learn to listen more than talk and hear the words that you don't even say. Dixon. Let me be the one. Let me take you by your hand and never let go. It doesn't matter if there are 4 or 40000 miles between us, I'm never going to let go of your hand. And you're right, you do have my heart. Please keep it safe. I swear to our god that I won't let you touch the ground. Not when you're soaring as high as you are. I can't even put into words how much I love you. But I do. And I'll never stop in a million years. I want to be there for you and I promise I will be. More than ever before. I'll fly to see you next time. I'm never going to let you down. And I'll never stop believing in your words. I know it sounds like I don't believe you, but I know that deep in the back of my mind I do. I do. I love you more than every single fucking star in this sky. More than every grain of sand on this earth. And more than you can ever love me back. Xxxx, Adri.

I'll never get tired of hearing your voice.