I just wanna be famous.

How adorable would it be if me and Eminem got married?! The tabloids could call us Slim Shaydree. And we could have our own reality show called 'The real Slim Shaydree' :))
Today was a nice little day at work :) Ande and Jenny make my day so much <3 I had some crazy people come in though. Someone asked me if we sell condoms.... no... this is Victoria's secret, we're too slutty for condoms ;) jay kay jay kay can I interest you in the incredible bra? ;) If you make anything sound like a challenge in any way, I'll become very competitive ;)
Boys, sun, and  WORK.
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength 

Ok I forgot! But yesterday I went out to eagle mountain and before I went home I stopped and saw Terance and Dixon :) Terance: 'Ok, it's a little faster to go home if you take the freeway so take exit blahty blah and merge blahhh' Dixon: 'Stop it! You'll only confuse the poor girl!' So I took redwood home :)
xxxxxxxx

So put your hands up, say you won't stop giving me love.

"it's people like you that fucked up our relationship, I know that's what you want." you're a dumbass. I was risking my friendship with him to try to tell you about how he cheated on you. I don't know you, and I still went out of my way to try to tell you. And blaming other people for having a shitty relationship? If it's shitty, leave. And stop blaming other people for it, because in the end it comes down to you two making it shit. And even if it was other people ruining it, it's still shit, so leave. It's obviously not love. Hate to burst your bubble sweetheart, but he kissed another girl. And if he could do that he isn't fully completely madly in love with you. So move on and find someone that really will. He had no problem with cheating, he always told me I would be worth it. Open your eyes, because it makes me sad to see two amazing people be such shit together.
It was a long day at work and I'm getting fairly grumpy. I worked from 8:30 am to 10:30 pm. And that was them letting me go early...

Hi, my name is Adri, and I competitively do bra fittings.
Winner <3
About to go back to work to complete my 16 hour day.
Goodnight, sweets xxxxx

Just barely got home from work <3
2:54 am

What's the point in trying when there's nothing to fight for?

Camp was mucho gusto :) Stefeni makes me smile more than she should :)
'DID YOU CATCH THE SNIPE?!' (looks at Jasmin) '....yeah'
I'm the dirtiest camper with the most glitter on my face :) Hopefully the pictures are posted soon! :)
Brittany drove me insane and I was about to kill myself (or her..) that girl is a FOGHORN! But I did make her cry during the snipe hunt :) bwahaha :)) we did an excellent job with that ;) Discussed the baseball boys with Bishop :) Life was fun :) but I'm super super tired now because I had to be to work by eight for a meeting and I have to go back later until two in the morning. My voice is so tired that it's cracking more than a twelve year old boys.
ANNOUNCEMENTS announcements announcements! A terrible death to die! A terrible death to die! A terrible death to talk to death! A terrible death to die! We lost our cow MOO we lost our cow MOO we have no need for your bull now. Throw it in the corner! Throw it in the corner! THROW IT IN THE CORNERRR. ...It makes the flowers grow....
Seven years of camp holy cow <3

Because I know that to live you must first give you life away

After a MUCH needed hair cut :) Looks mucho gusto now :) this kid is like my bff :) We would never be able to work though... he doesn't appreciate rap music, the name triton, the name skye empathy, and he didn't know atmosphere when I played it for him.... shame ;) OH AND HE DOEN'T LIKE EMINEM. Yeah, that could never ever work. EVER. He's easy to talk to though and he's an amazing listener and that's why we've been able to be friends for so long :)) we went and saw super eight last night and it was pretty good :) the ending should have been WAY better though! Booo. But so then he takes me home and I'm about to open the door, but something stops me. The fact that there is a GARGANTUAM spider in the way!!! So I make him come and get rid of it for me and then he drives away. It takes me about a minute and a half to realize that my phone is in his car!!!! It was terrible. But luckily he came back with it :)

I'm teaching Nathaniel how to be swag ;) 

Mommy, I'm undecided about what I want my tattoo to say... or even where. I either want one on my back that says 'it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is' or one on my rib cage that says 'stiffen that upper lip up, little lady' You should decide for me :) or one on my ribs that says 'smooth waters never made a skilled sailor' Buuut that would require an anchor to go with it.... this is hard ;) So I'll leave it up to you :)

This blog was pointless. Leaving for camp tonight :) be back saturday <3

xxxxxx

Summer lovin

What's that, Jockstrap? I won? You LOST? Oh you let me win? Ok... rematch... What's that?! I won again?! ;) I'm so much better at hanging with friends than he is ;) WINNER! :)

Nathaniel is a spawn of the devil. He stole Ernie's rubber ducky! ...and now I want it.... you know, to make my bath time lots of fun.. BUT HE WON'T GIVE IT TO ME. This results in ransom notes ;)

Isn't that swim suit the cutest thing ever?! All bejeweled and business :) Idk why it looks like this is in black and white, but it's not... Crazy business :)

Sun, Boys, and growing up <3

(Lol, growing up? I just gloated about winning a game and then demanded a rubber duck. I'M SO ADULT RIGHT NOW!)

Burning up my childhood

This takes some explanation I guess. Remember that tree that used to be in my backyard? The one that me and my friends climbed every day and stayed up in for hours? When we cut it down a few years back, I saved some of the twigs and promised myself that I would burn them as a representation of my childhood being gone. Today was the day.

I don't believe that text for a fucking second. Before work: your car was gone. After work: it was back. Instead of making me worry about you and your future, just tell me you don't want to be my goddamn friend. At least have the balls to tell me face to face that you chose him over me again. I don't know what even happened, but at this point I'm just giving up. I said I'd never let you go, and I never did. I said I'd never let you fall, and I always meant it. You were going to be the godfather to my children. At one point I was going to give you children. So much of me always saw me marrying you just out of happiness. And it's all gone. My love isn't though. I'll love you forever. I've loved you for too long to just stop. Best of luck in life, and I truly mean it. xxxx

These insecurities could eat me alive.

I woke up crying, wishing for my sister. Wishing that Taya would be there to wipe my tears and make things clear. I woke up crying because I don't know what love is. What true friendship is. Because I don't know what to do about life anymore. I wish she was here. Because she was the best at making me smile instead of cry. She knew exactly what threats to say to make me feel better, even though I knew she wouldn't ever do anything. Taya gave me the strength to believe and the strength to carry on. She let me lean on her shoulder instead of letting me fall. She protected my heart more than I did and loved me more than I could ever think possible. I wish I would have gone to college out of state just so I could leave everyone behind. Especially so I could leave my past behind. I don't want to do this anymore, this whole high school drama shit. Every time part of it ends, a different part comes up. I talked to Robin last night. I don't hate her. I'm not bitter towards her anymore. I'm not angry. And I'm just glad to have that over with. But then of course more has to come. Actually, I've got a perfect solution. How about everyone from my past, just doesn't exist anymore. At. All. I'm just going to make an entire new set of friends. It's like getting over my childhood and entering adulthood. I always say that I wish I had friends like Marshall and Lily and Barney and Robin and Ted. Now is the time to make them. It's time to burn my childhood and pave my way into adulthood. Gone are the days of climbing trees and burning ants. Here's to eight hour days at work and still finding time for classes.
ok. clean slate.
Childhood memories > Childhood Friends

Dear Creeper that I don't know, but bothers me anyways

"Your boobs are like inspiring! The way they've gotten so much bigger and everything'
-The inspirational words of Dixy poo

;)

Terance sent this to me and it made me bahaha ;) Other than Robbin Jones, this is pretty true ;)

So it's fathers day, correct? Yes. And I find out that I have a call in at work from 4-8. So I just think to myself 'I hope they don't use me. It's sunday... it's fathers day... they won't need me...' Then work calls me. Now I work from 2-8. Fml.
Let the time fly by and have it be fabulous fun. Happy fathers day, papopsicle. I love you <3
Off to work now. Bless :') xxxxx

Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

That what I need to survive is not his fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.
Today makes me think too much.

Hey little star, don't be afraid.

So there I am at work right? 'Thanks for coming in today!' (guy pauses at the door) 'That's what she said!' I laughed SO hard! Favorite customer so far!!! :) I worked for about nine hours today. It wasn't too bad in all honesty. Especially when they transfered me over to south towne to help them out. I really like it over there :)) The customers, the staff, everything is just so sweet :) Rebecca Springer came in today and I was just like 'Omg, I went out with your brother last night!' ;) it was fun seeing her! She's so freaking cute :) And CAMBRY came and saw me :)) I love her! I let her know that we formally changed 'torture you group' to 'torture you crew' ;) I saw her tattoo too :) it's so... her :) She'll protect me from the kill group! ;) Subway has my order memorized... that's embarrassing... I love that people come into victorias's secret and leave thinking we're friends and think that I'll remember them. I usually don't, but when they ask if I remember them, I lie and say yes ;) it was so cool though because I was in sales today and I just hear this lady and she's like 'Adri! Stop it! Stop!' So then I look and she's talking to her kid, so I'm like I must have heard wrong, that's such a dumb name... so I asked what her name is and she said 'Adriana' So I was like :o 'and you call her Adri??' so when she said yes, there I am 'THAT'S MY NAME!!!' :) I'm a nerd ;)
So me and my dad just went to this 'burn-out' car show. Where they just try to make a ton of smoke with their tires.. idk, it's hillbilly central, but he wanted to go and needed someone to go with, so I went :) and it was weird because I hate it when guys check me out in front of my father! I mean, that's my DAD, I'm sure he doesn't like it either! The weirdest part was when we were crossing the street and some guys were like 'Nice butt, girl' :| me and my dad were both silent and pretended we didn't hear it, but I know he did because he turned around to see who said it :| awkward! Every time me and my dad go somewhere just the two of us that requires driving that song 'daughters' by John Mayer always comes on. Every single time. I think that's me and his song or something!
It's been such a long day, I'm about to just drop dead!
Goodnight lovelies <3 xxxx

You're in harms way, I'm right behind.

Had a little datesy date with Michael tonight :) we went and saw that silly xmen movie... do you have ANY idea how long it is??? SUPER long! I had a good time though :) he's super sweet :)
Work tomorrow <3

The only way that I am able to stay so stable is you're the legs to my table

Today was my day off <3
DOUBLE RAINBOW OHMYGOD! ;)
'Not everyone has such an ample opportunity to handle such heavy machinery as a sword!' Ohohoho Terbear, you are the biggest nerd on the planet! I can hardly even handle it! I'll have to post that picture soon :))
I had to go to the dentist today and... recently I've developed the habit of teeth grinding in my sleep. I have four cracked teeth which will most likely result in root canals or something later on in life. This habit started around the end of march. I fully blame you three for my misfortune because of all the unnecessary stress you brought into my life. Cuntslutbitchwhore. Thanks for that, thanks a whole fucking bunch.
So to make myself feel better after finding out what's in store for my teeth, I went shopping. Basically this means I've spent way too much time at Victoria's secret this week... I got the cutest swim suits EVER though :))) I just want to go hot tubbing now so I can wear them!!! They are freaking AY-DORABLE! I'll try to take pictures in the eventually :) But when I was at the mall I saw Mitchell there! With Dylan... I was raging inside. I HATE THAT KID. (not Mitchell... Dylan) That probably had a helping hand in me spending more  money than I should... retail therapy works though...
'Adri the kill group is going to come after you!!!' made me laugh so hard ;)

I woke up this morning with the taste of his kisses still lingering on my lips <33

He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me. He kissed me.
Do you have any idea how much I thought about that and how much I waited for that?! And now it happened and it was almost perfect. I wish there could have been more time <3

Butterflies and sleepless nights <3

Boys, Sun, &
Workaholic

Longest day ever. I literally just got home from work. No, you read that right, it's 2:30 am and I just barely got home from work. I HATE THE SEMI ANNUAL SALE. I've been working my butt off all night, and I have to be in by eleven tomorrow. AND guess what?! I had to get up early today too! I spent five hours at a surgical center for my mom. Yes, it's been a wonderful day. :|
On the other hand, I met a really cool girl at work that I decided I like :) and of course emily :)
More details maybe if I ever get the chance... ha... that probably won't happen while this sale is going on!

I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before.

Pre wedding <3

Awhh Boys, Sun, and Weddings <3
I just got back from Matt's wedding and it's absolutely nothing like what I want my wedding to be like. It was good for them though :) It matched their personalities quite well. I, on the other hand, want a black tie wedding. With matching bridesmaids dresses and the two moms in matching dresses. I want it to be classy. I want my hair and makeup fancy and perfect. I want to dance with my dad to a song that actually makes sense. I want it very classy, very formal, that's all I really have to say.
I wish everyone would stop bugging me about me and Terance getting married. It honestly really bothers me. Because we AREN'T going to. And all of you guys nagging us is just making me want to less and less. Stop telling me who's perfect for me because you don't know anything. Only me and him know, so you guys can just stop now. Please. Because it honestly SUCKS to hear about how everyone wants us to be together and thinks we're so perfect. WHY WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT THEM AND THIER EX ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER?! That is just pure JACKASSERY right there. We obviously ended for a reason and if people don't stop bugging us about being together, then we probably won't even be friends any more because that's what happened last time. LEAVE US ALONE. :|
'Remember in tenth grade english when you promised to text me and then never did?' Ohh Mikey You silly kid ;) ha it's fun talking to you though :) Please don't tell the entire baseball team like how Colton did :|
I have to work tomorrow from 11:30 to 8. Ohmy. I'm up for the challenge! ;)
Gotta sleep good tonight :)

Boys, sun, and Eminem <3

Soo today I had a job interview... and I was going to call and tell them that I already found a job so I wouldn't be able to take theirs, so I was gonna call and cancel with them... but I forgot... so instead I'm just the dick that didn't show up... :| I'm an asshole :(
Sun, boys, and books ;)
Matt's wedding tomorrow <3

Boys, sun, and sleep <3

Pieces of memory fall to the ground.

Ok so last night, with detail now ;) so we started off the night at Jimmy johns and Mitchell was the only one to eat, but we still stayed there a while :) but we got bored so we decided to go to fashion place. And we walked around for a while, we got Mitchell a Nicki Minaj shirt that looks ADORABLE on him! :) :) :) he's so cute :) then we went and got shakes and mine was the worst one :( Cambry's was DELICIOUS though! We told her about the kill group! And the murder mob! So we made our own gang. We're the torture-you-group and we're realllll tough ;) Eventually we got bored again so we went to murray park to show cambry the spinny chair things, but there was this mega sketch there :| like MEGA sketch. He wouldn't just let us spin on our own, he would always come over when we went to go spin! And he like super duper creeped on me :| it was not ok, so we left and we went to a certain place... where we met a lady named kitty. And she let me and cambry slap her butt... and she was a really good dancer... and we went through a lot of one dollar bills... ok. we ended up a strip club. Kitty was my second favorite dancer just because she was so funny, so me and cambry went up front for her :) my very favorite dancer was flat chested and like hella skinny! She just wasn't your typical looking stripper, and she could do some crazy cool stuff up on that pole... we left after kitty danced though and we just went and talked about our lives. What we all need is a summer romance. I hope it happens <3
CambryMitchellAdri <3

Say that you love me

It was just a crazy ass night with Mitchell and Cambry ;)
I'll send the torture-you group on you!
Put that kid on a leash!!
Pedophile at the park that spun me around a thousand million times on that crazy spinny thing.
I'm just really tired ;) maybe more details tomorrow or something ;)

Today was my first day out on the floor! I love being in pink! :) :) :) it was so much fun! And guess who came in randomly?! CAMBRY! I was SO So SO excited to see her! I hope she works with me!
Me so tired ;)
Victoria's secret <3

I won't say who.

Ok. well, today I realized that it's quite probable that I love him. Yeah. I finally admitted that to myself. Good lord, I know I shouldn't.
But love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.

Lol stop creepin on my blog, SKETCH.

Ahaha I know you do. I know you check more than once a day. And I know you try to wish bad things on me. But guess what, sweetheart, it's because you're jealous of my happiness and my success. You are just a jealous little whore. Guess what else, hun, I'M WINNING. Ok, well, crawl in a hole! :) xxxx

I dream that at night he dreams of me.

I woke up this morning with my eminem poster falling down on me. You know what my first thought was? Snap back to reality, ohh there goes gravity! ;)

Yesterday was my first day of training at Victoria's secret :) I learned how to measure bra sizes and how to sistersize :) I was the only one chosen out of my interview, but the other girl in orientation with me is Emily and she's really sweet :) it was so much fun! For part of the time we seriously just tried on bras! HOW LEGIT IS MY JOB?! We tried on the top ten bras because we need to know our products for our customers :) I found a new favorite! The balconet! It just made me feel so good :) It's fun working so far :) I hope I'm good at it!!!

Summer <3

I lost a friend in all the bitterness

The majority of my day was spent sleeping off my illness and then typing 'mermaidlores luvs me' over and over again to strangers on omegle trying to find her and get a promotion on tumblr. Some people's reactions. 'I've gotten you like five times! jeeez' 'That's it, I'm googling this shit' or that awkward moment when you're like 'mermaidlores luvs me' and the stranger is like 'mermaidlores luvs me' and then you're just like dammit ;) I never found her :( but I did gain quite a few followers :) I'm up to 41 now :)
Victoria's secret tomorrow :)) I can not wait!
Feeling mostly better by now :)

Graduation Pictorials ;)

Graduation :))

It was absolutely almost perfect :) I still feel like just a little kid though :) When we were sitting there we discussed Hercules... at our graduation we talked about HERCULES! You can't say that we're grown up. Especially not with all the dancing we did. Yeah, I can get down to the graduation march ;) and we tried to build a tent on my hat with my diploma, but it didn't work... when I couldn't find my parents, I whipped out my phone and texted them ;) 'Saying he looks like voldemort is definitely a worse insult than saying she looks like she has downs!!!' ;) Kathy's speech was absolutely fantastic :) the others were eh, and at least chanalyn didn't say too much to make us sound stupid ;) Mitchell was the best part of graduation. We hugged right before we went through the tunnel and inside and right as soon as we graduated. Me and my thirteen year long relationship with him made it. WE DID IT! And we did it while being our obnoxious selves the entire time. Our diplomas may have flown out of our hands a couple of times and bitten a couple of people ;) but that's the fun part! Walking wasn't even that cool, but a lot of people did laugh at me because I wasn't wearing shoes ;) the photographer and the principal got a pretty good kick out of it ;) 'I HAVE MORE CORDS THAN DIMITRI!!!!' The lady that handed me my diploma told me I must have worked really hard to get all those cords. I guess I did... but it doesn't feel like high school was all that hard... bahaha silly school ;) I loved how jacked up some of the names were ;) afterward was a joke. Trying to find people when they all looked a like was ridiculous! Eric found me and told me how skinny I am ;) mi gusta ;) it was kinda cool to have him come and see me just like how I went and saw him last year. Even though I TOTALLY cheered louder than him.... ;) When I was in line getting my diploma I didn't have service, so then when I finally did I had all these missed calls from Terance and Dixon and Drake :( I was so sad that I didn't see them at all :( Not even in the audience. I looked, but believe me, it's so hard to find people in that crowd. It took me and mitchell forever to find his parents. Surprisingly, I didn't cry at all at graduation. After I asked my mom if it was because it still hadn't hit me or if I just didn't care. I think I just don't care. I hated everyone at taylorsville except for Mitchell. And me and him are going to be friends forever so that's ok.
I'm a little sick now and it sucks :( I need to get better before tomorrow because that's when I start work :( I NEED to get better!
I'll do pictures later. Promise.

So I just found out that the graduation cap is called a mortarboard. Laughed my tush off.

Life isn't always what you think it ought to be

I know that I shouldn't feel bad for her because she completely screwed me over and took what I wanted, but I still care. Because I'm that stupid dumbass with compassion. Between her and him I was completely broken from recently being broken. And after talking to him, I know I should be gleeful and with that 'I told ya' attitude, but I'm not. The initial shock was a pretty big Ha, but now I just feel bad. I talked to Nate about it, because I feel like I can tell him a lot that I can't really tell anyone else. And because I can tell him because he isn't/never was in the drama and won't start more drama. And even he said that I shouldn't feel bad, shouldn't care, shouldn't feel that it matters. But god, imagine that being you. Give give give, losing so much, and him just changing his mind. I couldn't handle it. Feeling so in love (even though I know it wasn't love) and then have him decide that he has other feelings. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. I never want to have meaningless sex. That's why I'm going to be more careful with my heart, more hesitant, not quite so flingy. I'll learn to love with my brain as well as my entire heart. That way I don't get screwed over. I don't ever want what happened to her.
p.s. this probably isn't about who you think it. I guess it might as well be, but it isn't.

When I die, I want to be buried with a book of poems. I want the most romantic beautiful funeral. Not romantic as in love, but like the feeling. I'm sure that doesn't make sense at all to anyone though. This post is much too random, isn't it?

So kiss me all night, don't ever let me go.

Ok, I'm gonna blog real quick and fast that way I don't forget anything! Because I feel like after graduation I would be too overwhelmed to remember all these fantastic things. First of all. Him. Senior year is over. And it makes me sad because of him. Him and only him. And after today he isn't drinkingdruggingorhavingsex. So my chance is gone for good. Which bums me out, but only a little bit. He wanted me to be his last time. I think that is adorable for some reason. It makes me feel special. And I know it's silly, but I think he really liked me and has for a while now. Idk, I want to say more, but I'm too much of a loser to do that. So I'll write it in my personal journal or something. Fuck it. When he said that I realized how much feeling I really had that I was too afraid to show. It taught me a lot, it taught me to love with my whole heart again even though it's going to be scary. Maybe one day I'll have another chance. Probably not, but it feels nice to think maybe. Goodbye senior year, thanks for all these lessons I've learned.
Graduation practice was ridiculous. It's too early in the morning and I was wiped. Pure exhausted. But Mitchell's hair. Oh. My. God. BLONDE. We fixed it though :) it's back to looking Mitchell-y again :) I'm so excited to be able to walk and to have this final goodbye. I already know I'm probably gonna cry. It still hasn't hit me yet, but I know when they call Mitchell's name, that's when it's going to be real. Because then I'll be next. And then it IS real. I know I'm gonna cry. Not because I'm going to miss people, but because this huge part of my life is finally over. I can't believe it yet. I'm ready to start over again though. I know life has more lessons to make me learn. And I want to be altered by life.
Oh. p.s I GOT THE VICTORIA'S SECRET JOB!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) OhmyGOD! I can't wait!!!! :) :) :) It's going to be such a good summer!!! It's going to be such a good life!!! :) :) :)
Looking through this post, I realized something. I like Nate so much more than I should. So so much more.
Today is the day <3

And don't worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

So last night <3 another late night texty text from him ;) once again he told me to come over, but he was pretty smart about it, he was like 'say your friend is having her baby' whoa, you listen to me? But I was completely honest with him. I was like 'my mom isn't stupid!' Because she isn't, she knows I would be going to see him! Bahh, but he said that 'we had a good chance' god. why did I have a boyfriend in the beginning of this year?! GOD! I sure did screw myself over with that one didn't I. Maybe in the future though. Is it weird that I have a feeling that in the future we really will? And he even said it too, it's weird. Idk. All the good ones have freaking girlfriends :(
Ha year book day was a joke. I got that little mothertrucker and I was out of there. No signatures in my book, nosiree. 'Ha, there would be a picture of you and your ex.' HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!!!
Happy birthday, jammin. I love you with my entire being :))

'You've never had a relationship last longer than a couple of months. At this point, it's time to look at yourself and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.' -Mumma Trover

But it wouldn't be my world without you in it.

So I finally went out and got a graduation dress. Well, I got two of them because I couldn't decide. It's either coral or lime green. Most likely you can expect to see me in the green. Interesting experience though. While in the dressing room, this extremely outgoing woman decides that she really likes me in the lime green dress and insists that I get her sons opinion. So I'm all ok, whatever, cool. So then we buy my dresses and stuff and my mom's like lets go to joanns. So we go there and this woman is there again! And she told us how her and her son talked about me and how he joked that she should have gotten my number for him. So my mom, being the douche bag that loves putting me in awkward situation is all like 'well, she's here right now ha ha ha' So the mother gets that super hopeful look in her eye and asks if she can. AND YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO A MOTHER! Sheesh. Awkward business. I think my mom just really gets a kick at how much I get checked out and how this sort of stuff happens to me a lot. It's getting fairly ridiculous! The way guys look at me while I'm driving and they're driving I'm worried that an accident will be caused. EYES ON THE ROAD. Stupid heads.
So last night I get a blank text... from HIM. At three in the morning... that means I was on his mind instead of his girlfriend ;) winner. loser.
'If he was single, you wouldn't be a virgin anymore.' Even my mom understands the great amount of attraction I have with this boy!
The picture of me and Mitchell in the slide show... yeah, none of us remember taking that... You just know that at one point during graduation, you're going to hear me and him bahaha at a random moment. Of course at the assembly it happens during this weird skit thing. At the part where Cj strong is dying. We just can't control our bahaha's ;)
Interview tomorrow. And I should hear from victoria's secret tomorrow :) wish me luck, lovelies :))
Just gonna get my yearbook and run. I don't even want anyone to sign it. I wrote letters to those I cared about. So I'm done :)

Ahhh, seriously, wish me luck! <3

Tayyuhhh Ayydreee

Taya&Adri. T&A ;) She's gorgeous. She's amazing. And I love her. I don't get to see her very much, but that's my sister. And it makes it even more special when I do get to see her. Her hugs are the best, because her smell surrounds you, not just the smell of her perfume, but the smell of her love too. I'll never forget when we went fourwheeling together and we went through every mud puddle that we could find. We were the dirtiest girls ever that day. And our hips were bruised... from going over the jumps and flying over the front. Eating cafe rio always makes me think of her, because that was basically what she always ate. And her car reeked of it once when tank spilled it in her back seat. That summer when we used to always go on bike rides and walks. When we were basically always in our bikinis and we went to the drivein more often than not. Ha and lagoon. I haven't seen her in a while, but I still feel her strength. I still feel her with me. And she can still make me smile more than almost anyone else. 

She's my special angel that god spent for me. I'll never forget the day I called her crying and she came and got me at school, in the middle of my physics class, she just told woolley I was leaving. She left in the middle of hair school to come be with me. She would drop anything for me. When I called her at three in the morning she answered and listened to me crying. 

I don't know why I'm thinking about Taya so much today, but I am. I went and took her her graduation invitation (yes, I know, I procrastinate) but she wasn't home. That's ok though. I still love her and I always will no matter what <3

you:

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah, you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I've been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with. Do you honestly think he is wondering about you? No. Sure, it hurts, the fact he is out there falling in and out of love with other girls. Yeah, your gonna see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself, cause straight up, it's gonna hurt. He will hold her a little closer and squeeze her a little tighter just because he know you're watching. He knows it's killing you, that's why he'll do it. Don't let him get to you because, well, that's exactly what he wants. Don't give him what he wants. He doesn't even deserve it. So what if he does talk to you, do you honestly want to be friends with an asshole like him anyways? Thing is, I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try to make you jealous, do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his new girlfriend. He will be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy who's not him. With that huge grin on your face and your boyfriend holding you close, he will realize how happy you are now. And how happy your boyfriend is because he has you the girl of his dreams. He will realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go, when he decided to choose her over you. When he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. And don't you sit there thinking he won't be. I know you're thinking that. But I guarantee you now, he will be sorry. So don't go spending your nights waiting for that phone call you know you're never gonna get. Or that IM you know he will never send, simply because he likes to ignore you. He likes to pretend he doesn't see you online, he does it out of spite just because he knows it's killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways, he's gonna look past you, but you need to know that he does that because he knows somewhere inside you it will hurt. I'm not gonna lie to you, it will hurt. It'll hurt a lot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and see how much he loves her in his profile. It's all gonna hurt. Knowing you're not the girl that's making him happy, the one that makes him smile that smile. Knowing you're not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing you're not the face on his background of his phone anymore. Knowing if he hasn't already, he will delete the album of pictures of you together. Knowing you won't be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there's not going to be any more late night phone calls arguing about who loves who the most. And you know what, today, tomorrow, next week, months from now, your phone will go off with a text, you will instantly grab your phone hoping it's him saying he wants to give the relationship another shot. But trust me, he's got too much pride. Even if he wanted to be back with you, he wouldn't tell you. You're soon gonna realize he doesn't care about you anymore and he won't be the first person you call when you're upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah it's gonna hurt, it's gonna hurt a lot. But you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna hold your head up. You're gonna show him that you're better than him and you don't need him in your life. You're gonna prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life letting you go and that you never really needed him anyways. It will get better. Don't give up on love quite yet. If you ever feel unloved, know that I love you and that I always will. I can be the person to put that smile back on your face. The person you call just because you feel lonely. You don't need him, you've got me.