Even if it's alone.

My road trip was quite fabulous in many ways :) I feel extremely close to Kercee after everything that happened and everything that we talked about. It was nice to be able to talk to her so much and so openly. Our slumber party took place on friday where we watched this really lame movie about a horse and then her friend stayed until like two in the morning whining about his love life, but earlier that night we had gotten a giant cookie icecream thing so it was worth it :) it was the cutest little pizza place :) I can see how Kercee thought it was super romantic. Magna main street is actually super adorable altogether :) and I got to see the infamous baseball field :) we left bright and early on saturday and Kercee's mom drove like such a madwoman that we got there in no time :) cheetos=breakfast of champions. I went to a rodeo for the first time :) :) :) it was an interesting experience to say in the least. I got made fun of quite a bit for my lack of knowledge :| but it was still awesome to see. And if you're looking for the place to see the most buckle jeans in the world... got to a rodeo :) That night Cooper and Tyler came over to the room. And all Cooper wanted to do was drink. So we ended up playing kings cups. Me and Kercee didn't drink, she was partnered with cooper and I was with Tyler. So they would drink for us. Basically they were just constantly drinking... Then cooper made the rule that if we said 'you' then we would have to take something off. That shut me up real quick. I didn't approve of that. Kercee was just down to her adorable little panties though ;) but around midnight Tyler had to leave. Cooper didn't want to though, so we let him stay. Then at like two thirty we had to sneak out to take him to his hotel :) adventurous... and scandalous :) him and Kercee ended up making out :) She's so funny :) That night in the room above us the couple got in a really bad fight. It was so scary. And Kercee told me about how it wasn't a happy place and how her mom and dad got in a fight on vacation once and almost divorced. It's weird, but her family wasn't real until that moment. I'm really glad she told me. On sunday we went to the hairshow and it was pretty sweet :) not what we expected, but it was still interesting :) then Kercee's boyfriend came down to see her. It made me feel so lonely to see them together. And my self esteem took a terrible fall. I just felt gross and hideous. It wasn't my best point. On monday we had to leave our beautiful sunshine though :( and we came home. We didn't even sleep on the way back ;) I was wayy happy to be home, but then Eric came over and it just went down hill. We got in a huge fight about a misunderstanding and it was stupid. I walked away and he didn't follow me. My mom had to open the door to a crying, snot nosed daughter. My dad thought it was about him 'pressuring me into something I didn't want to do' but it honestly wasn't. It was just me having a low self esteem and him making it worse. I feel asleep thinking awful things about myself.
Today was the skills competition. Me and Kercee did pretty well I think. It looked really cute even if we don't win :) and Jaylynn told us some stories about her and her boyfriend. And it made me hate camille ipson just a little but more for her. Seminary was alright. I feel like it's my duty to keep Ryan awake and learning. But maybe I'm just being a freak. I really like talking to Thane though because he's way chill and he's super nice. He makes me feel really good about myself. I went home for lunch because I forgot my socks and needed more tampons. It felt so good to get away from school. Aerobics was alright. My feet are in constant despair though :/ After school Eric called me and we went and saw the rite. It was such a good movie :) I'm so glad that I went and saw it :) It was so sketchy though! But it was a really amazing movie and talked about god in some of the coolest ways :) I really enjoyed it ok :) but then me and Eric started fighting again :/ because it's period week and I get grumpy. And he joked about getting back with Rachel. And I know it's just a joke, but it bothered me so much. Then I saw that they really are talking again. And he blamed me for it because he didn't have anyone to turn to yesterday. I hate her. No wonder she was staring at me today. Because she knows she could steal him at any second just to make me miserable 'She wouldn't do that' I wouldn't put it past her she's been such a bitch to me. 'She just said thanks for recommending that book to her.' you asshole. That was my book. and you just gave it to her. I told you to read it for a reason. Because it made me think of you and I wanted you to understand some things. But you obviously didn't care enough to keep it an us thing. You had to bring that little whore into it. And I don't care if she has a boyfriend. She's cheated before. For you and on you. But she never gave you a reason not to trust her. Of course not. Not perfect little Rachel. I wish she would just die. But then it would just make me hate her more to see you cry over her dead body.  I just want her out of the picture. It shouldn't be that difficult! Why won't you let go?! And now you won't text back because you're best friend in leaving for two years tomorrow. If he's your best friend then why didn't you turn to HIM yesterday?! Or better yet, why didn't you text ME so we could work it out?
I hate period week.
it was my book. and you don't even understand why that makes me upset that you told her