If silence keeps you, I will break it for you

That concert last night.
He used the playlist that I made him when I was in california. I should have been there. I was supposed to be there. When Drake called me and Terance was saying that it was for me, I could feel his head turning around looking for me. "I was really hoping she was going to be here." I could here the tears in his throat. It wasn't anything against you, sweetie, I wasn't ditching it on purpose. I would have much rather seen you than have watched five hours of disney channel.
I swear this time I mean it.
I'll follow you into the dark.
Hummingbird.
With you.
Sunset.
Call it love.
The most recent song he wrote.

Sweetheart, I'm sorry I wasn't there. But I was listening to every word. You went on pretty late. I'm almost positive that you were the grand finale. You were, weren't you? I still love you. But I don't want to be that girl after Zarahemla. All of her friends would do the exact same thing mine did "She looks just like you. Quick cheap replacement that one." I'm not going back to that. I love you in the way that wasn't like before. I love you in the way that makes me never want to break your heart or ever make you cry. The love that makes me hug you out of loneliness, you know what I mean. The feeling that I'm completely alone until we are combined together like that. But not in the way that makes my heart feel empty when you're with somebody else. It doesn't feel empty if you don't call. I love you in the caring way. The I would die for you way. Because I love you for your individuality on this earth. If we kissed again I don't think our worlds would spin anymore, it would just feel like skin touching. I think you just want that high back. But I don't think you would get it back from me. We had our movie, but it ended with heartbreak and friendship. We aren't AdriAndTerance anymore. We're Adri and Terance. Joined at the hip, but separated. Our hearts intertwined in a different way. But don't worry, they're still intwertwined. And they always will be. Your hurt is still my hurt, but I don't feel it anymore. I don't think we have the same heartbeat anymore, but you dance to the same beat. On some levels we're off, but on others we are still exactly the same. I will always love you.
But I'm nervous for highschool to start. I hate knowing that there are people that already hate me. At least Rachel won't try to talk to me or confront me, but I know Dylann would. And I know he would win and I even already know that he would make me cry. I trusted him with too much and too fast. I feel like he would bring me down in a second and wouldn't even care. What will I do without  Triton there to save me again? Alot of my friends graduated and it's like a form of protection that is gone. And I'm starting to feel that.
"Zak will you come to Taylorsville so I can say goodbye to you before you go to college? Because that's what they do in the movies.." What I didn't add is that I can see us not ever talking again. And that I'm really going to miss you. Because so much of me is from you. I'm going to talk about you my whole life though. My grandkids will know about Zak with a k.
I don't know why I'm feeling so emotional. But it feels like the goodbyes I said at graduation are happening all over again. But I swear to god this year will be the best one yet and nothing is going to stop that. I'm going to all the home football games, every single dance, all the swim meets, join the ffa, go up on stage at the choir concert, and not care about what anybody says about anything. Please help me. Mitchell, don't ever leave my side. To be honest I hate that because of Dylann I'm afraid to start my senior year! This is it! I can't be afraid anymore! For eleven years I was afraid, but not this time! This time I will not be afraid, my dreams will come to a start, and yes, I'll laugh even louder. It's going to happen.
Senior year.