I never meant to fall in love with you

It just hit me.

That this might not even fix anything.

It might even just make the whole thing worse.

And I really needed someone, but there wasn't anyone here because she was here.

I don't want her to be here anymore. And I told you that. But I didn't give you a reason so it didn't matter.

I was fully prepared to have a breakdown and cry on your shoulder. But I ended up crying by myself because you were a little tied up with her. And now your getting mad at me and telling me to just 'chill out'

You try to chill out when all you need is the exact people you can't have and when everything that could possibly happen, is happening. You chill out then, ok?

I'm scared for tomorrow, but I'm scared for now too because every second he isn't calling is a second that he might not even be here anymore. Either of them.

I'm a constant emotional wreck and I don't understand why this is all happening.

Please pray for me.