Dear you,

i miss you. so much. and i relate everything in life to you somehow. i'm sure it's really annoying but i can't even help it. you remember our table at cafe rio? i still sit there sometimes. i swear i can still smell your cologne lingering in the air. or maybe that's just wishful thinking. that if i close my eyes, breathe in deep, and focus then you'll be there to take my hand into yours and tell me about your day as a striving engineer. everyone keeps telling me that when i talk about you my eye gets a sparkle in it and my smile gets bigger. that with you in my life i was easier to be with and that i just had more. love. you taught me what love is. and not just the love that every seventh grader knows. the kind that people spend their whole lives searching for. you taught me that. just to take it away. but i want it back. and i want to be the person that you formed me into. i want to be that again. and i'm tired of just waiting for you to get around to it. i'm tired of closing my eyes and trying to remember the way that your hair was and how it smelled and what your arms felt like when it was around me. so i'm going to do something. i just need you to be my best friend again. so i at least have the ability to feel again. and to laugh as hard as i used to and to love as much as i used to. we need to come back together. please answer your phone.

love, me

p.s. i never stopped loving you. ever.