Autumns yours and mine tonight

Today has had too many emotions so it makes my head hurt.

But I'm ok now :) because this kid just showed up on my doorstep and helped my night be better.

Zak has saved my life a few times here and there to be honest. And I'm really lucky to have him as a friend.

I want to write deep words that will impress you, but nothing is coming to me. I'm just blank. But a good kind of blank. Because for the first time in a long time depressing thoughts aren't clouding my mind. And that's a peaceful thing.

Next year, when I'm on seminary council, I'm not going to change and become like the people we make fun of. I'm going to stay like myself. Alot of people told me that it will be good for me, so I really hope that it will be. But Im going to stay real. I'm not going to pretend that I'm perfect, because I know that I'm far from it. And I'm not going to let there be a seminary Adri and a school Adri. There's just going to be me. And I'll be the same everywhere. I promise. And next year will be way amazing :) But you have to join the bowling team with me ;)

I'm already thinking about next years prom dress :) I want to look like a dark mermaid :)

I want to be j.

Correction: I am j.

I just found a new power in myself that I haven't felt in a really long time. This is going to turn into a new confidence. Not just in my appearance which is the only way that people usually think about confidence, but in my actions and in my decisions. I'm going to learn to trust myself. Because things are starting to get good again. I can feel it. I can feel in my bones that this is the start of something special and new and good. I'm going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok. I just needed a friend to show me that. Thank you. I owe you so much so stop saying sorry.

And I cheat... I'm really not the right one for this...

I don't know if I'll do a very good job next year

So I sent a strongly worded letter!

I don't know if I'm the right one...

I mean I dress immodestly daily, I love inappropriate jokes and my language isn't always the best, and I don't like most seminary kids. I don't know. But they said I am. So I guess we'll see

Don't wait another day

It's been a good day :)

But this is gonna be a crappy post :)

Iphone- I love you sweetie :)

Trevor made my day :)

I lovee my mommy and daddy and everyone else :)

The end. I'll write tomorrow. A good one.

I'm just asking you to love me

Tomorrow I'm 17.

That sounds too old to be me and now I'm scared.

I never meant to fall in love with you

It just hit me.

That this might not even fix anything.

It might even just make the whole thing worse.

And I really needed someone, but there wasn't anyone here because she was here.

I don't want her to be here anymore. And I told you that. But I didn't give you a reason so it didn't matter.

I was fully prepared to have a breakdown and cry on your shoulder. But I ended up crying by myself because you were a little tied up with her. And now your getting mad at me and telling me to just 'chill out'

You try to chill out when all you need is the exact people you can't have and when everything that could possibly happen, is happening. You chill out then, ok?

I'm scared for tomorrow, but I'm scared for now too because every second he isn't calling is a second that he might not even be here anymore. Either of them.

I'm a constant emotional wreck and I don't understand why this is all happening.

Please pray for me.

your words hit faster than bullets

Ohmy :) I had a blast from the past :) :) :) those were the days! Some children make my day. Warning: the following was not meant to be disclosed. But I felt that it should be because I think it's happy and certain people named Terance need to see it.

"-Adri you beast!

-Ayyy Dixon Baby :) how was church?

-Ehhh. It was a'ite

-You are unable to pull off 'a'ite' love. Did you go to all the meetings?

-One?

-Which one?

-The good one? God, I don't _____ know.

-Did you... eat bread?

-Yeah...

-That was sacrament :) any special feelings ;)

-Well, I got bored so I played tic tac toe halfway through :)

-How could Terance allow this?! Why did he not stop you?

-Adri... who do you think was playing with me...

-OMG! Terance? That dirty rat!

-I won :)

-Ugh! Next time you'll come with me and partake of the spirit!

-Oh. Well I felt the 'spirit' but after the bread I got BORED.

-Didn't you listen to the speakers?

-Kinda... they would have failed my speech class

-That's not the point...

-The music was the best part

-Are you just joshin?

-Nah Brah pure seriousness. You mormons sure can sing

-Did you sing?

-Eh. Not really. There was one song though about like being amazed and it was wonderful that Jesus died or something?

-Yeah...

-Well keep it hush hush (sorry for not keeping it hush hush Dixy poooo) but it made me almost cry

-How come?

-I don't know it just happened

-Don't worry I know what you mean...

-But this still doesn't mean I believe in your church!"

I love you. Be well now. Up and at 'em. Rise and shine, sweetie. California misses your ugly face tormenting them daily. But seriously. There's a girl in Utah that cries for you everyday and loves you more than anyone else.

Cause baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun

It's been such a good day :)

My baby arrived safe in California and we're awaiting the results :)

Tommy boy made my day :)

Gorilla farts :)

Getting out of a huge assignment :) :) :)

Library aid. End of story. :)

DANCE :) crappy group but fun with balls ;)

Math golf WOOO

I'm an awkward dancer. But yes there is such a thing as an untraditional rain dance!

My brother 'es amazing :) Sarah is a beezy! ( I love how my dad just barely learned that word :) and tool) And she is way ugly! And too stout! WOOF.

Reminiscing about the good ol mac days when we had bells and a control center :) Got mac :)

Dear Nate, you make my life complete. Thank you for all your help today. You are the most amazing man in the world :)

I CAN NOT WAIT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!! or prom :)

And hey sweetie well I need you here tonight

Some people take my breath away.

Terance, the fact that you are willing to ditch your Mexico spring break to go see if you can donate your liver has put you in a whole new light for me. Sure, I've always thought you were so amazing, but I've never known how deep your love could run. This is the biggest sacrifice I think you could possibly do. And you aren't only saving Dixon, you're going to be saving me. This shows how truly selfless you are. And I know that you're going to text me being upset that I'm holding you up so highly, but seriously, you are amazing for doing this. I hope you know that I love you. SO much. And I know that I can say some mean stuff to you, but I never really mean it. And just that you stick around after all that shows what a good friend you are. I don't know anybody else on this earth that is like you. You're one of a kind, darling. I've been an emotional wreck all day. And I'm having trouble stringing words together because I'm so overwhelmed and filled with so many different emotions. So I'll just say what I'm trying to say. I hope you are a match. I love you. I miss you. I miss him. I love him. You're his brother, it has to work. Thank you for being my friend.

A guy in my English class told me I looked beautiful today and that made me feel good :) And I got a 'Dayumm, girl' so I'm having a pretty jovial day :)

D I N O S A U R S I never thought that song would ever come up in any conversation :)

I love when people hear a really loud laugh so they have to turn around and stare :) It just makes me laugh even louder :)

"There's a good chance he's going to die..."

Heavenly father, please don't take him from me.

Vampires aren't supposed to die.

Does it help if I say I love him? Because I do. So much more than I can say. Please just don't take him from me.

Darling, you can't cover up lies with those dark brown eyes

I've decided it's time for a change.Because I want to be the kind of person that people would miss if I died. I would want people that love me so much that they would frantically try to get a passport just to come to my funeral. I want people to look up to me and respect me. I want to be like Bob.

He had so much impact on people he hardly even knew. I met him, what, like once? And now here I want to be like him. I want to make an impact. I want to change people's lives and to just change the world. If people look at my grave and think how lucky it was that I was alive then I'll consider it as an accomplishment. I just don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be the funeral room that's empty and every eye is dry. I don't want my gravestone to later become cracked, broken, and without flowers. I want it to be the opposite. I just. I'm scared of dying. Not of the process or even of what will happen after, but of not even being missed. Of not making the dent in the world that I'm supposed to make. Of not fulfilling the mission that I was sent here to accomplish or not fulfilling it to it's most.

I need a change. Maybe to become something completely opposite of what I am now. I need to be more edgy and daring and carefree of what other people think. I need to do things because I know they are what is best not because of what everyone is saying. I need to believe in myself. Or at least that is where I need to start.

I had such a good young women's lesson today :) I just need to start building on the foundation and planting y testimony bulb by bulb. Because I'm part of the gospel. I'm part of the good news. I just need to start being able to see that. I need to start seeing myself in the gospel.

My dreams are all just too big for me. I need people that help me with them. I need people. I need someone to lean on.

I love you all Xxxx

Nude camping and disco dancing :)

You find some crazy stuff when you look through old journals :| "do you think tape bones is hott?" Omg :| So weird! I can't believe I used to be so lame! And mean! Me and Katie were mother trucking douche bags! Those were the days :) I wish the junkmobile was still alive :)

Ever since my girl crush bleached her hair I just don't... I'm just not feelin' it. It looked so much better black. So you don't know me, but sweetie, a girl from Utah doesn't like your hair so you should change it. Oh and P.S... I wish I could BE you!

There is strawberry juice ALL over my computer! Now my white looks all dingy and gross. But I don't feel like cleaning it. Yeah... it will probably stay like that. I'm so lazy. Maybe I'll do a better post later because I really do have something good to say I'm just not in the mood atm :)

6 more days until prom :) 8 more days till my birthday :) :) :)

WOOOF. Seriously.

I hate when what I'm trying to do isn't happening!

I'm just plain irritated now.

Just do what I want! Now!

...and you didn't. Internet/stupid technology, I hate you.

I promise you. And I'll never break that promise.

Er for the first time ever. Iv for the fist time ever. Blood taken for the first time ever. And it made me cry. I cried at the sight of my own blood. I don't know why. I'm just weak I think. And that's really lame. Thomas noticed I wasn't there and acted concerned. I liked that. It made me feel good because not anyone else really did. I missed Xyra's birthday though and I felt bad. I really did dress up for you, sweetie, I just ended up leaving early. They made it sound like I was going to die. I had no idea that anyone could be more
overdramatic than me. I'm tired. I liked that warm blanket literally meant a warm blanket, until it got cold. But my mommy helped me. I love you mumma.

Thanks Terance.

I'm done now.

I don't care what they say I'm in love with you

It's been a long confusing day. I'm ok that it's almost over.

Stop letting me down. But first just stop building up my hope.

I don't even know if I should believe anything your saying anymore, because we both know how good you are at lying. Just stop. Maybe this was a bad idea. So just go back to her or go get a new one or whatever. I don't even know if I want you in my life at all anymore. But maybe that's just my teenage angst talking. I'm pretty sure you're not who I thought you were. Maybe we just changed too much. I don't know if I can keep trying to make this friendship work. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I just keep making up excuses trying to justify this because I can't let you go again.

We're Polski citizens :) we will sneeze on that sandwich just to get it for free! I wonder what happened to that stolen backpack :) When we try to sell a house, lets sell it the same way that you would go about selling a car :)

Adam and Ever were just hussies!

My whistle can whistle! It might be a lightbulb :) But that was Monty's idea. Korbin. Because only black people can spell it with a c.

I deserve that mother trucking donut! I got the word right. Spelling isn't worth shite! This is the only time I haven't gotten 100 so now you give people motherfathering treats! Monday to friday!!!

Gym guy-reported missing.

Xxxx

I want a new name for my blog :)

and I need suggestions atm :)

help?

Anything not pertaining to elephants is IRRELEPHANT!

Studied for my vocab test :) With my little flashcards I'm sure I looked cute :) I have to do good on this test! I need good grades this term! I've been losing things left and right all this week. I think a ghost lives in my locker and just takes things that I need just for a little giggle. Well, it's not funny anymore. Had to hurry and copy in history something that I had ALREADY COPIED! It's not even fair :)

People need to put socks in their mouths, put their cameras away, and just stop bugging me! I know the movie isn't very interesting, but neither is your life so stop talking about it! Some substitutes are just jacked up. And Hillary or wtf your name is just go eat an egg. You're pretty but all good qualities end there. You are annoying. In every single way that is the worst. Just STFU!

First applicant to turn in my cosmetology packet :) I neeeeed to get in! I know I won't be able to get my associates degree, but it would still be nice to start. Please let me in :) I'll be the best one there, guaranteed. Councilor lady was pretty nice today and Mr. Padjen was beyond helpful :) I don't know why he likes me so much :)

"Are you even wearing makeup?" Do you even have a dick?

I hate you. YES I am wearing makeup! And I did a pretty damn good job of applying it. I looked good today so stop hating me because a guy is flirting with me. (Dear Thomas, thank you for making me smile and just being AMAZING! Rose is really lucky)I don't like you. At all. In fact, I hate you. And I don't want to talk to you. I thought you got that vibe from me, but apparently not strong enough.

'I've gotten asked to prom three times!'

And yet you were still acting desperate for him. That's funny. You are not the greatest thing since toast and I don't like it when you act like you are. 'People say I'm toned. Feel.' People say I'm skinny. Look.

I think I'm just sleep deprived and irritable (fractious)

Thank the good lord for a good dance instructor like the one I have. Thank you for not yelling at us to smile or anything like that. P.s. I like the fact that you make fun of Brooke with us :) and remember my name

Oh yeah, my name seriously isn't andrea, bigrump. Call me Adri and I might stop giving away library books.

'You guys would make the cutest couple!' ...or the loudest.

Awh :) remembering weird things from junior high :) I can't believe I forgot about spoon girl and tape bones! That made my day a little bit.

St patricks day is a sorry excuse for a holiday. Stop asking me where my green is. It's up your arse!

Good day :) I love you. Xxxx

Just when I was starting to trust you again

I just read something that's quite unsettling. And now I'm worried. Please don't do this. Not now. Not again. I'd like to think I deserve more than that, but apparently you don't think so. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I hope you think of her every time you even touch her.

A bug came in my face and you didn't even try to save me!

Mikee, darling. Disregard anything I've ever said about you not being smart. Because you are. You read me so well, better than anyone ever has before. You can even tell when I'm being sarcastic over text! That's pretty darn impressive. I promise you're way more than just a pretty face. And if people can't see that, then they are the ones that are stupid. And I think that when I say that I'll always be there for you that you take that lightly. But, sweetie I don't. I'm there for you. I would say that you can just text me, but don't worry I'll text you first. I adore your face

More when I'm in a good mood, maybe.

You piss me off.

Just for kicks and giggles, sweetie :)

Now in the traditional rain dance you have to get real low to the ground with legs spread in an off second position like demonstrated. Now add jazz hands just for the effect. Lower. Jazz handsier!

Nevermind, you just look like a hippopotamus.

Xxxx

I swear to god I won't stop until you're shaking

To the guy that was creeping me at the gym, Thank you, you have lovely hair. And yes I am aware that I'm flexible :) (It's because you're this tiny girl with a shape like this and long blonde hair!)

Looked like dixon. For the first two seconds that I saw him I almost jumped up on him. I miss my boy :( it's time for your liver to be AMAZING now, k? K :)

"The thing about you is that you're able to pull of ugly stuff!"

I spent most of yesterday and all this morning looking for someone that had that worksheet so I could copy. And when I barely make it in time, it isn't even due. Screw you, history.

I have to go on that $20 date aysappp!

Andrea? MY NAME ISN'T ANDREA! Can you please just stfu?! You have a huge arse. I'm just gonna say that right now.

Free frazil :) I love being a girl :) :) :) ima start showing my bra everyday ;)

Dance.

Summer might be for losers. But I'm not sure yet :) But I think I'm going to do it :) just for a nice head start.

Do you have soccer practice? -I didn't make the team...

Stupid printer got jammed :|

'Reducing the risk of pregnancy' you're already pregnant you can't reduce it anymore, sweetie.

Batcave upstairs :)

Sputta sputta sputta!!!

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Uhahammm... Unfertilized....

Mike it's M-M-M-M-MULLET TIME!!!

I want you in my jeans!

So does everybody else.

Cracklackalacka! Cruckaluccalucca- kuka

Don't worry, Adri, Jay jay the jet plane totally saved the day!

She lived on the edge! She ate chicken and and TWO onion rings!

k so.. k so... queso :)

Brunka brunka brunka! You know that song?

You sounds like a garbage disposal...

Your hair looks like it was in a garbage disposal!

Don't even joke about that...

"I'm head banging. Meaning I'm banging you in my head."

Yeah, well I'm... dang it I can't think of a good come back so just stfu and I'll get back to you with that later.

Poor Drake had a bad day! It always screws my day up too if I look down and my skinnies aren't tucked in my nikes all the way ;) You need to stop being a girl :)

The backstreet boys- now THAT is my bottle of beer!

Good day:)

Apple Orchard Banana Cat Dance 8663 :]

Listening to a song that I haven't listened to in a very long time :)

Time changes are the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. And I hate it. And woooof. Change it back, now.

I need someone to just listen. To listen to me whine and cry because too much is going on right now and I'm so overwhelmed. I just need to crawl into someone's arms and stay there for a long time. I'm just scared. And I hate not having any control in this situation. All I want to do is to be able to help, but that's the one thing that I'm not able to do. I'm an emotional mess. I just need someone to make me smile. And love me. And talk the same way that he talked because he's the only person in the world with swagger like that. And as much as I made fun of it, I miss it with all my heart. I need you to take care of me. Keep me from falling apart because sweetie I can't even do that on my own anymore.

Lets sing that song the way that we always used to because it came on the radio today and you weren't there to be my backup. I miss you. Come back.

Terance: just poppin and droppin. Maybe a lil stanky leg here and there.

You make me smile :) because you're just such a tool bag. You bring me back to life. Thank you for taking me through life. We're going to be best friends forever.

"You forgot to polkadot it!"

He'll be ok.

Love is my weapon.

You keep asking me what kind of girl I am, but Hunny, there is way too much to put in a text. That's why I just keep putting that I'm Adri :)

Because that's who I am. I'm the girl that doesn't like typing out super long texts, but likes getting them. I'm the girl who enjoys the color yellow. I'm the girl that wants long wavy hair. I'm the girl that doesn't understand how you let spelling mistakes pass. There are red squigglies right underneath how do you just let that go?! I'm the girl that's in anticipation concerning someone's current health. I'm the girl that loves Dr. Pepper and is addicted to hot cheetos. I'm the girl that sees life in the same way that a 5 year old does. I'm the girl that wishes she could shop all the time. I'm the girl that survives on hugs. I'm the girl that feels it's appropriate to slow dance in any situation. I'm the girl that has no problem with spending the whole day just reading. I'm the girl that hates wearing pants. I'm the girl that just wants to fix your hair if it looks ugly. I'm the girl with no musical talent whatsoever :) I'm the girl that hates math and my english teacher. I'm the girl that writes 'All you need is love' in ever text book. I'm the girl that enjoys texting random iphones. I'm the girl who's butt does not look good in true religion jeans. I'm the girl that can't stand people that waste her time. I'm the girl that likes wearing shoes without socks. I'm the girl who's short. I'm the girl who doesn't need a date to prom anymore. I'm the girl that could be the librarian in a porn. I'm the girl that likes rain. I'm the girl that drinks with straws. I'm the girl that gets jitters from energy drinks. I'm the girl that tries to go to bed at nine. I'm the girl that still watches saved by the bell. I'm the girl that draws hearts on desks. I'm the girl that smiles at someone if they look like they are having a bad day. I'm the kind of girl thats looking for love-but not kissy kissy love, just the kind of love you get from a best friend. I'm the kind of girl that can easily go from loud to quiet and then go back. I'm the girl that tolerates people for a limited time. I'm the girl that doesn't judge quickly. I'm the girl that wishes she could read people. I'm the girl that procrastinates homework. I'm the girl that leaves my phone everywhere. I'm the girl that writes empathy in clay. I'm the girl that trash talks myself on bathroom stalls. I'm the girl that used to only wear tie dye. I'm the girl that trips on nothing. I'm the girl that will spontaneously laugh because it feels right. I'm the girl that likes Dr. Seuss. I'm the girl that wants bleach blonde hair. I'm the girl that wants black hair at the same time. I'm the girl that would die without eyeliner. I'm the girl that loves cheesy love songs. I'm the girl that twiddles pinkies. I'm the girl that will apologize first. I'm the girl that can't paint toenails. I'm the girl with stars in my eyes. I'm the girl that prefers sunflowers over roses. I'm the girl that mixes two perfumes to make my own. I'm the girl who takes a ton a vitamins. I'm the girl that likes whispering on the phone in the dark. I'm the girl listening to Stephen Jerzak. I'm the girl who thinks Clint Eastwood is good looking. I'm the girl with dreams that are too big. I'm the girl who's legs are too long for most dresses. I'm the girl that really was tan over the summer! I'm the girl that enjoys guys with curly hair. I'm the girl that is self critical. I'm the girl that wears sequins. I'm the girl with a freckle that looks like chocolate on my pinky. I'm the girl that is only honest when it's nice if I don't know you. I'm the girl that frequently gets called a bitch. I'm the girl that thinks my own thought process is hilarious, I pretty much crack myself up everyday. I'm the girl that will say hi to my mom on my blog. I'm the girl that loves song covers. I'm the girl that likes dance party screamo. I'm the girl that finds acoustic guitars attractive. I'm the girl that looks awful in yellow, but looks good in teal (supposedly) I'm the girl that doesn't quite have the guts to be scene, but wants to be. I'm the girl that doesn't find american girls attractive. I'm the girl that needs to go potty. I'm the girl that gets up super early for seminary. I'm the girl that likes to bite stuff. I'm the girl that isn't patient. I'm the girl that does whatever I can to get what I want. I'm the girl that thinks Titanic is THE perfect movie. I'm the girl that is bored of this. I'm the girl that doesn't think I'll ever like you btw. Xxxx

Dear God,

we all need him to be ok. all of us, not just me. i need him here to wipe away my tears. i just plain need him. the world needs someone like him.

you're going to fall behind in march madness, love. be ok. please.

Your head is always over your heels, dumbarse

It's been two days, but it feels like years.

My day way wrecked a little bit. You can't just do that and expect me not to react. You're too indecisive and I don't know how to handle it anymore or even if I can take it. You make me crumble into pieces at least every other day and guess what I was already broken before you got to me. I don't want that anymore. I've been trying to fix myself again and then you just come on in and destroy the little bit that I had. You don't understand. I'm really not ok. I'm tired of being the one to try to keep the conversation going when all I want to do is cry. I have so much going on and I thought that you were the one thing I could rely on. I thought you would offer me stability, but things are just going downhill. Do I even mean anything to you other than someone will do what you want? You said you'd always have your shoulder there for me. But then you pulled away.

You do it every time you touch my hand, I feel it deep, it burns.

I miss you. And I love you. But I'm tired of everyone trying to tell me that I need to be with you. Because we both know that isn't what's right at the moment. We know what our own relationship needs and what it doesn't. So everyone on this planet, shove off, I know what I need. Right now I just need you to be my best friend because I've never had a best friend like you before. That song. It's playing right now. I still wonder about it everyday and its on my ipod more than I care to admit.

It's only you. It's you and when you're with me. I can't help but smile, I smile until it hurts.

God. I just miss you and me so much. Because of the way you made me feel special and like we were meant to be in that single moment doing the thing that we were doing. Sometimes I'll dream about you and I still get chills up my spine. I think I just miss the simplicity. And the love. The complete love that I can't find anywhere else no matter where I look. But I like what we're doing now.

I can't get over your smile, the way it makes me feel.

Why are you being so vague? And distant. You gave amazing advice and I need that so much right now. I need you to help me stop being lost. But you're disappearing. What's going on in your life? I helped you when you didn't have anyone, but now you're gone. Please come back. Just reach out because it feels like nobody does that for me anymore. I just need that one action to help me pull through. I love you in a special way. Or maybe I just need you in that way.

And I get to call you mine.

I'm really truly proud of you. You deserve what you got and I know you'll make next year amazing. That team is going to be something to be proud of. I'll go to your meets just to cheer for you because you always cheer for me. Thank you for always being on my side and listening and staying around. I'll always be there for you. You do everything for me. You're my best friend. I love you.

Oh yes I'm falling for you...

I'll do the whole happy thing later.

I want to know how it feels to be altered by life

Two posts? No chance :) just got done with homework :/

HE GOT CAPTAIN :) :) :) :) SOOOO so so so so proud!

Your otter can suck my squirrel's dick. Don't ever touch me again.

Teaching step :| OMG

Actually doing work in english. I make myself proud.

WHY DO YOU THINK I"M ANNOYING?! Your laugh is... weird... no offense.

Yeah, none taken :|

We already knew I'm a bitch, next time actually insult me, mmk sweetie?

Math teachers that are coaches are retarded. "I just don't have time for this." Then make time. Isn't this more important? Arizona can wait like four extra minutes for you to get there. Lets be honest, you just want to leave and you don't want to help.

I like it when people are on the same wave lengths as me. It makes things so much easier.

I meant to go to the soccer game...

So pro at writing essays ;)

Goodnight, darling. You're missed.

I promise I'll do two posts tomorrow to make up for this :)

Xxxx. Love you, sweetie.

When I was 13 I had my first love :)

Adriana will teach us step next time.

I will? :|

Hot child in the city!

I'm so excited for senior registration!!! It's gonna be theee best year of my life :) :) :) math? DONE. Science? DONE. All stupid lame subjects? so so SO close. I can't wait to cut hair! I'm going to be the best one in the market.

Dear stupid junior year, END. I'm so over you. You're RETARDED. I just really think we should go our separate ways. I'm sorry it has to be this way.

Some chickartitas took our table! And they knew it was our table! Oh they knew it! SO awkward at the drama table. I'm so thankful no one has ever used a toilet to ask/answer me to any dances! My death will be by hot cheetos.

I'm a creep to a poor child named landon I think.

To be honest, I hope you don't get captain. Because I'm a douche bag like that and you bug me. And no it isn't acceptable to kick my chair like that. Oh and by the way, you look really stupid in your headband :) Xxxx

Opens locker. Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell.

Causes a scene.

Kathy comes and pulls her books closer:)

"Stay away from Ashley. She's still mine." CREEEEP.

Tayaaaa text me backkkkkk!!!

G.G. Tonight!!!! :) :) :) :) Nate, be my husband because I think you're the most gorgeous man alive.

I'm a home wrecker.

My eye was WAY better than the teachers! Take that! Asian penguins :)

Tbh it was a good FANTASTIC day :)

Secret love are you there, will you answer my prayer

When I woke up this morning I wish I wouldn't have been woken up. But I'm glad I was because my dream was really weird and it would have gotten really awful really fast. I've got to get some things off my mind. I hate when my friend is beating me in march madness and isn't even in seminary! No matter what it IS a competition! And you know it!

I heard a testimony that gave me the chills today and made me cry. And I really needed that today. And there was the cutest little kid that stuck his tongue out with me :) He was fun :) and Benjamin, oh dear hard to please Benjamin. He was the cutest thing in the entire world with his little headband and barbie cell phone :) :) :) and Bishop is the best. I'm so glad I talked to him because he gives amazing advice and now I have goals and he's going to help me with them. I can't wait to go to the temple on tuesday because I haven't been in forever and I know it's going to be amazingly spiritual because I'm going to make sure it is :) Young womens was the exact lesson that I needed :) it was a good day for church today :) But I feel super bad because some people are lame and some things that shouldn't happen happen to amazing people. No more detail. And because skye stubbed her toe, the poor love.

Got annoyed by people easily :)

Adri is on fire. Dance Adri Dance. Adri 'Supersexx' Perschon Play!AdriPlay! Adri Apathy. Adri Ayyyhole. Dixon is a silly goose. He's my little goofball. I wish I could protest with him. Need a scene nameeee.

Can't wait for prom. Or my birthday :)

Amoraphobia- the fear of love.

You said that you would die for me...

You used to tell me I was like that. Beauty that comes at you unexpectedly. Strong willed. Never letting something just blow it away. Always holding on. You said that was me. But now look at it. It's all torn up and ripped. It's dirty. It isn't pretty. It's still there though. Sometimes I wish it wasn't. Please, God, don't let that be me.

I mess things up and make people unhappy. And it makes me feel awful because I just want everyone to be happy.

Prom dress just chillin in my room :) It's beautiful and I can't wait for the whole world to see it:) It's exactly how I dreamed it up to be. I know exactly how I want Taya:) to do it. I hope she knows what I mean because I think that it would be gorgeous. Can't wait for prom :) :) :) it's going to be the best! no matter what.

Did Thomas just moo?!

Guess who's texting me, Adri? Did I just call you to talk about texting???

Yesterday?

I'm going to be my very best.

I'm more thankful than ever that he answered. "I like, Terance" so do I, darling, so do I.

My daughter is going to be the cutest ballerina ever (child whines and cries) and she'll be nothing like that! And my son will be a man.

Saddest book everrr

"apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins" you can't just let it sit there and expect it to do you any good. You gotta live it and use it. To lean on Christ. For more than just sins too. He's there listening to you, love. He went through what you're going through right now. And he did it for you. Use it.

Night :)

Blow bubbles [x]

Dear you,

i miss you. so much. and i relate everything in life to you somehow. i'm sure it's really annoying but i can't even help it. you remember our table at cafe rio? i still sit there sometimes. i swear i can still smell your cologne lingering in the air. or maybe that's just wishful thinking. that if i close my eyes, breathe in deep, and focus then you'll be there to take my hand into yours and tell me about your day as a striving engineer. everyone keeps telling me that when i talk about you my eye gets a sparkle in it and my smile gets bigger. that with you in my life i was easier to be with and that i just had more. love. you taught me what love is. and not just the love that every seventh grader knows. the kind that people spend their whole lives searching for. you taught me that. just to take it away. but i want it back. and i want to be the person that you formed me into. i want to be that again. and i'm tired of just waiting for you to get around to it. i'm tired of closing my eyes and trying to remember the way that your hair was and how it smelled and what your arms felt like when it was around me. so i'm going to do something. i just need you to be my best friend again. so i at least have the ability to feel again. and to laugh as hard as i used to and to love as much as i used to. we need to come back together. please answer your phone.

love, me

p.s. i never stopped loving you. ever.

Words that actually do rhyme with orange.

Contrary to popular belief, door hinge does NOT rhyme with orange!

1. amoreange – an orange you instantly fall in love with
2. allegorange – an orange that represents abstract ideas or principles
3. borange – an orange so dull you can’t even be bothered finishing it
4. corange – the very essence of an orange
5. commodorange – an orange that seems to be in control of a large group of other oranges
6. doorange – a type of orange used to close off an entrance to a house (these typically grow very large as)
7. eeyorange – Winnie-the-Pooh’s favorite type of orange
8. elmorange – an orange made out of rags that is controlled by an outside party and is really annoying
9. floorange – an orange that has been dropped on the ground, but BEFORE the 5 second rule has expired
10. goreange – an orange said to increase martial prowess, favored by soldiers, criminals, and computer game programmers
11. krakatorange – an orange that explodes in your face before you even bite into it (see nitroglicerorange)
12. lemorange – a gender confused orange
13. memorange – an orange that sort of reminds you of another orange that you’ve eaten before
14. montessorange – an orange that promotes the development of natural abilities and initiative
15. nanorange – a really tiny orange that you can’t even see
16. nitroglicerorange – an orange that explodes in your face right after you bite into it (see krakatorange)
17. octorange – an orange that squirts ink in your face if pick it up unexpectedly
18. pectorange – an orange that looks really tough and beefy, wouldn’t want to eat it without help
19. quantorange – an orange that is both here and somewhere else at the same time
20. remorange – an orange that you regret eating
21. remificorange – word used to describe the consequences of eating too many oranges. Usually remorange and remificorange go hand in hand.
22. seismorange – an orange that shakes really hard when you pick it up. Has a chance of becoming either a krakatorange or a nitroglicerorange
23. soliloqorange – an orange that reveals all it’s inner thoughts and fears through monologue
24. sextorange – an orange that is a natural equivalent of viagra, hexagon shap
25. tetrahedrorange – an orange shaped like a pyramid
26. testostororange – an orange that is spoiling for a fight
27. ubiquitorange – an orange that everyone is using and that seems to be everywhere
28. vernaculorange – an orange that is specific to a particular social group or region
29. whorange – everybody has had a piece of this orange
30. xorange – the executive assistant to the commodorange (see commodorange)
31. Yahorange – a billion dollar internet startup based on oranges
32. zorrorange – an orange that fights for the rights of all the oppressed oranges everywhere, goes in disguise so you can’t tell him apart from other oranges

Special thanks to Mikeeee Poo :)

He grew so silently vibrant...

[x] jump off something really high.

[x] try a new perfume.

Sir, what are these things?

Ohhhh. Uhh. You will like.

:| ?

How it begins: spitting bobas at the walls.

(Simultaneous thought) Lets spit them at people!

Definition: Another name for the sweet, chewy, tapioca balls found at the bottom of the Taiwanese drinks

I can't spit at the asian, she's too successful!

The blonde woman that looked back at us:)

I wish I could spit like fifty of them at a time!

That man looks fit, we need to run. FAST. I wish we could see athletic man again.

The fat man we missed. Every. Single. Time. FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!

The polynesian we hit with the final boba :)

Hand me the bobe!

(Door squeaks) shooooot.

We tried so hard to run away but there were chairs and tables in our main path so we just looked like the stupid kids that shot someone with the boba and couldn't run away. Oh the embarrassment that that was!

Some people just make my day :) :) :) :)

I hope she doesn't break his heart.

i love you.

Pointe Shoes

Shoes shimmering, gorgeous,

Graceful,

Glide across a stage.

Romantic, Beautiful.

Blisters, bruises, blood,

Encased in soft silks and satins.

Hiding what I am under what,

What I pretend I am.

I am a dancer,

In Pointe shoes.

To dance is freedom,

But I am a corpse,

And still eat less,

Because even bones are not fragile,

Not thin,

Not good enough.

Pointe shoes break toes,

Break souls.

I hide my pain under stage makeup,

And costumes,

And plastic smiles.

I’ve worked so hard,

I am so tired,

And broken.

Tell me, please,

Am I beautiful yet?

Show me empathy.

It's time to let go.

1. I'm in love. With my best friend.

2. Friends mean the world to me, and I'm always here for anyone who needs to talk.

3. I never used to be pretty and I was teased a lot.

4. You can't stand on your own two feet with a substance as a crutch.

5. Say what you want, I'm not going to change. I hope.

6. I hate his girlfriend.

7. I usually regret my decisions.

8. My friends that aren't even here mean the most. And know who I really am.

9. I'm a liar (apparently)

10. I hate hurting people. I'd rather be the unhappy one.

11. When I change too fast, I get nervous break downs.

12. I worry about what other people think. All. The. Time.

13. All I want to do is own my own salon.

14. Dreams do come true.

15. I was the weird girl when I was younger.

16. Before I had boobs even my best friend made fun of me.

17. I still watch cartoons on saturday mornings.

18. When I left disneyland I cried.

19. My favorite animals are cows.

20. I pray just to feel love sometimes.

21. I'm done with trying to impress you.

22. I write poems about you.

23. History is important, its what made us how we are.

24. I laugh the hardest when I'm trying not to cry.

25. I like to smile at strangers just to see if they'll smile back.

If love is just a concept,

then tears are just the rain

If love is just a word,

then all my words are in vain.

Bad day. But I still believe it can get better.

Xxxx

I don't think my last post could have jumped around more than it did.

No one wins a war.

Why haven't you eaten lunch with us? Is it because of the breading? Because we were going to bread your car. Oh you can bread my car as long as you don't use peanut- butter.

My mask is looking very squirrly, but now it's mrs andersons mask, not mine.

Ape-dri :) Ceramics makes my life. I. Am. The. Devil.

Telling my secrets to Triton.

Mike I can't take pictures while aerobisizing! If you weren't so good looking I would tell you that you are completely lost in life. I'm sorry. But don't worry you make up for it with yurr face :) I'm the luckiest person alive that I got to know you! Drake check facebook because you have been TAGGED, my friend. And I expect a retaliation!

My poems might win :) and I'm way excited about it I'm so glad people like them :) :) :) I should be a poet! But even then Triton would only buy my book out of friendship but the child wouldn't even read it. The only reason A days are ok is because of third.

I take bites the size of Asia :)

I'm beyond grateful that my mom is involved enough in my life that she doesn't have to go behind my back to talk to my friends about me. If I didn't have the relationship with her that I did, then I would have shot myself a long time ago. Mommy. I love you. Even if I don't always show it. I do. You're the best mom ever. Even if you do walk away from me in walmart when I walk funny and shake my cookie dough :) Thank you for brushing my hair for me. And painting my toenails. And getting water for me. And reminding me that my makeup is smeared. And for my vocab. And for finding lost things for me. Just. Thanks for everything. I love you more than this world.

Happy day :)

When you were here I was more compassionate. I loved more. I smiled more. I was happier. I need to come see you. I honestly don't care if you told me not to we both know what is right and I'll be the one that brings that forth. I'm coming to see you and I hope you're ready. But even if you aren't I'm coming anyways. I know you're reading this, I know for a fact that you are and I just want you to know that... I miss you. So much. And I still love you with all my heart. Terbear. You tricked me, yes you tricked me. Now I am falling...