Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.

'Adri, you need to hurry. Ben's been in an accident.' I'll never forget that moment. The sudden surprise and the immediate reaction all at the same time. It felt unreal, but suddenly my heart was in my throat. And I'll never forget Mitchell's reaction. Immediately holding my hand and running through the halls with me. That is a true best friend. Holding my heels and my hand while I cry my eyes out with worry. I'm never going to forget the immediate peace that Mitchell's hand brought to me.

This is the realization of everything hitting me. For two weeks I've been yelling at Ben telling him I hate him and I wish he would die. Then at the possible second that it could have happened I knew how much I love him and how I never want him to go away from me. Right after I heard I knew Taya had to know too. She's our sister after all. And her reaction was everything I knew it would be. I know Mitchell would have acted the same for me. I know that's what true friendship is.

I'm grateful for Eric. Running over just to keep me from thinking too much. I'm grateful that he was able to be my distraction from all my problems. I'm grateful for him and I wish his family was too. I don't think that's what friendship is at all.

'I got you to smell my feet!'

'I'm stressing about stress that isn't stressing!'

'If you got fake nails then I'm wearing a top hat!'

In english we discussed ways of dying. Just a little bit morbid.

I know this is a blessing and I don't regret today in any way.

Thank you: Mitchell, Eric, Taya, Kira, Tina, Ashley, Lisa, old journals, Terance, Drake, Mike, Dixon, Mumma, Poppy, Nik, Jordan, Sarah, Aseneth, Rachel, Brian, Brother Sullivan and everyone that has remotely even made me smile. Thank you for all the inspiration.