To my friends, the whores, and the backstabbers of Orem

My dearest Drakey Poo, you can do way better than this. And you honestly deserve way better than that. You're such an amazing guy and sincerely one of the bestest friends that I have ever had. I know you're heart is broken and you don't think you'll ever move on or find anyone else, but come on... I mean, sweetie, you look like mothertrucking Justin Bieber! You will find somebody else, and she will be one hot mama ;) And you know girls will be all over you again once they discover that you two are over (time to change the facebook status, love) remember how you walked into that high school and instantly became the coolest thing since canned tuna? Well.. now the coolest thing since canned tuna is available and it is time to jump on that! I'm not going to lie, I don't have very good advice to offer except to move on, but I do have a firm knowledge that you will be ok. You're a good looking, talented, nice, smartish young man! Not to mention popular :) and you do have that job thing going for you now... ;) You can make it through this trying time! You just need to take a little gander and see all that you have to offer. Because it doesn't matter how many times I tell you, you have to figure it out for yourself! So get up, wash your hair, put on some pants, and hit on some girls at work! Good golly, you're the biggest flirt in history, we can not just have you lollygagging about like this! Now be the man that I know you are! I love you, baby :)

Skye. You are a whore. What you did is unforgivable. I will admit that I admire you're image, but that is where the admiration ends. You broke his heart you know that. And you did it in the least classy way possible. Are you aware that he loved you? I know that you are. So what you did was completely unacceptable given the knowledge that you had and the fact that your relationship status on myspace said happily taken. You can not even imagine all the respect that I lost for you. He took you in while you were at your lowest and then you do this to him?! Are you kidding me?? You were a LOSER and he still loved you. All of his friends made fun of him for holding your hand, but did that make him stop? NO! I can't even stand you. You're nothing but a heartbreaking slut. Go suck a big one, skank. Oh wait thats what you did to make me hate you.

Mike. I don't hate you. Lets start it out that way. But I am extremely disappointed in you. For more than just what you did with Skye. But also for the fact that you were on ecstasy! What were you thinking? Sure it was laced in your drink, but why were you even drinking?! Or at the very least guarding your drink? You know I don't agree with all the damage that you are doing to your body. How do you expect to make varsity if you don't even take care of yourself? Now back on subject. Bros before hoes. I swear I've heard you say that over a million times. Why did you overlook that, sweetie? You're his best friend. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Because I know it did to him. And you let a little slut come between you guys? How would you like walking into a room and finding your girlfriend getting down with your best friend?! Mike, it's time for you to look at yourself and see if you even like who you are. And I hope you're grateful for the forgiving arm that Drake extended to you. Personally I don't think that you truly deserved it quite yet, You need to give a better apology than you did. Start acting like the 'bro' that you claim you are.

Orem: work your deal out. no drugs. no drinking. girlfriends, stay faithful. best friends, actually act like it.

The end.