I want you to know with everything, I won't let this go.

'Adri I need to tell you that I'm sorry. Because I am. I know that sounds childish and like it doesn't mean anything. But I swear to god it does. I was a complete asshole and I didn't have any right and I know that now. I know you were just trying to help me and to save my life. And you have. You're the reason that I'm sober right now and you're the reason that Terance is checking me into rehab tomorrow. I didn't mean any of that shit that I told you that day. I was way out of line and none of that was true. Any other person would have completely given up on me after I said all that shit, but you didn't. You still called me everyday. And I listened to all the voicemails even though I'm sure you think I didn't. I was mad at you, but I still loved you and missed you. I listened to you talk about your life and I listened when you cried. I'm sorry I was the bad friend that never called you back. But I told god to take care of you and I think he did for the most part. I think he loves me. You know that? Because he thought I was privileged enough to know somebody like you. Fuck. I found that letter I gave you last year for graduation and I still mean that shit. I do even though I don't act like it anymore. I'm going to be a better person from now on though. You don't even know how fucking hard it is though. I just want to fucking give in because it makes it better and I know if there was a 'meth day' it would have answered my call when she didn't. Why does she hate me, adri? That's what I want to know. What the hell did I do that makes her hate me and why didn't I get the fucking chance that I deserve? I just want to feel love. And I feel that when I'm high. I feel everything when I'm high. I want to just feel that all the time. I don't deserve it, but I want your friendship still. I love you even though it seemed like I didn't. I always did. Just like how I promised I would. I need you to help me. Will you be my supporter again?'

Dixon, you've always been my best friend. Before I even met you, we were best friends. My entire life I was looking for somebody exactly like you. With your faults and with your perfections. I'll never walk away from you. I've been waiting for you the entire time. I never doubted you, and I still don't. You're so much stronger than this. And I know you want to just feel love, but sweetie, I've been here the whole time ready to show that to you. And I still am. I want us to teach each other what love is. I know we can do this. You're so much stronger than you think you are. One day, when you're uncle Dixon and I have the most amazing family in the world, we'll look back on this and we'll be proud of ourselves. Lets make it through this again. I know we can do it if we do it together. You're my best friend. I love you with all my heart and I'll never stop, I promise. Love, Adri xxxx