If you don't love me, pretend.

Ohheythere bad day, thanks for just keeping worse and worse.
Of course Kaya is wearing my jacket. And of course there isn't a way to replace it.
Of course Dylann finds me at lunch and completely bitches me out. In front of everyone.
Of course I end up crying. In front of everyone. Ish.
Of course Dylann chases Mitchell down and flirts with him.
Of course Dylann gets mad (seriously, of course) and yells at Mitchell.
Of course I can't find a jacket that's even worth buying.
Of fucking course.

I'm finding it hard to care about anything too much these days.
Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair.

Never counting regrets.

I'm completely exhausted. Not from working too hard, but from trying to cram so much into one day. Early morning seminary. Hair school. School school. Keeping up with friends. Homework. Gym. Planning for the next day. Simple little stresses all day long. Childish people. Enemies. Why hasn't he texted me yet?? So much to do to keep with the expectations.
Today we started learning color :) I'm a 10 :) ..level ten that is :) I find the idea of color interesting. All the different possibilities and I even kind of enjoy the science in it.
You know what really sucks? When you're absolutely starving and your in an aerobics class. And to make things worse, the girl you hate is eating right in effing front of you. Robbin, please hurry back. Your class is in shambles without you.
'Shh. I'm trying to listen to my music!' Get some effing headphones, sweetheart. I know you think you're amazing, gorgeous, and intimidating, but I just see you as an overweight dancer with too much makeup on. You need to grow up.
I only missed three on my declaration of independence test. Oh yes. I'm that good.
New contacts :) I love the new contact feeling. Hopefully now I'll be able to see..
Phillip, are you always at the gym?? Are you ever going to stop creeping on me??
I need a night of amazing rest.
In the end, life is bliss.

Missy, my love.

The alien look is pretty hot these days ;)

Missy likes the alien tube look

New haircut :p

I was praying that you and me might end up together.

'Can I buy you?' 'Yeah sure for 1 mill..' 'For five mill..' I underestimate my own self worth I suppose :p
'The vice principle has asked you not to park in the seminary parking..' Wtf?? This isn't even school property how can they tell us that??
So..Hott english kid may have kinda sorta.. put his number in my phone :) I'm gonna re-dye his hair :)
You wouldn't think you would see the guys who hit on you at the gym again.. but you do. Hey william. Whutup Philip.
Today in cosmetology: we learned this crazy perm... it looks like an alien creation to be honest.. but yesterday missy got a haircut :) :) beautiful little stripper of mine :) graduated haircut :)
Snack time in child care :) the deal: I'll give you my peanut butter if you give him my number.. ok :)
Tina can take anyy conversation and make it awkward.. even a conversation about hot cheettos
Nikky Dalby?? Seriously?? What a nasty girl to cheat on with.. :|
Yes.. it takes forty minutes to get your school picture taken.. whore. My mom is prettier than yours :)
'I was going to say why even try retakes they can't make your face any prettier.. :)' :) :)
Learning this super cool braiding stuff :)
'If you were a good friend you wouldn't sing that song!!'
Everything is pretty great :) even the bad stuff :)
Dylann is a puss. But me and Mitchell are too :)
Pure happiness :)

Eff emm ell

Declaration of independence test tomorrow :|
smd.

The only thing stopping you is the risk

Friday, I must say, was amazing. The perfect combination of everything. Revenge. Happiness. Laughing. And ending with a moment that feels like it's from a movie, in the middle of a soccer field.
I don't really know what to say about it, but Mitchell summed it up with one text, "So I'm actually feeling happy" me too, Mitchell.
Taylorsville won the football game by the way :)
The night came to a finale in coltons car listening to Ke$ha right before I had to get out.

Lion King :)

My favorite cheetah :)

Third row, beezy.
I didn't expect to learn something from a play based on a disney movie that I used to always watch. But oh how everything is possible. Yes, I was able to make this into a spiritual experience. But only in the second half. The part that struck me the most was when Simba was feeling completely lost and started crying to mufasa. But of course when he said father, I took it as a different father. 'Father, I feel so alone You promised you'd be there Whenever I needed you Whenever I call your name You're not anywhere' I guess I can relate. That feeling that you are completely alone and that God is ignoring you. But I know it isn't true. He allows us to go through stuff, but we're never alone. And later pointed out 'He lives in you. He lives in me. He watches over.' Simba had forgotten who he was and that had made him forget his Father. And that seems to make sense in my head. We need to remember who we are and who our Father, the king, is. Yes, I know I sound like a bad seminary lesson, but it stood out to me so much. We need to remember who we are and the rest will be take care of. And sometimes the past hurts, but we can either dwell on it or learn from it. I'm going to learn from it. 
And for now it's going to be Hakuna Matata. 'It means no worriesss' ;)

You have no idea how fast my heart races when I see you...

Nothing in this world could keep me from staring at you..

Hi. I'm super hott and have amazing dreads.
My name should be Burlap.

Yesterday I found my hair talent. I love piggy back perms :) :) :) and today I borrowed the spawn of the devil curling iron so I'm gunna get good :)

Today we did a gemini perm and it's not hard, it just takes a really long time.

I met this super chill kid on the bus and he reminds me of Triton in so many ways :) He even smells like him :) I love it :) :) :) I'm so excited that he's going to be my friend :)

Weekend warriors is doing amazing :) we have over eight pages of people signed up :) and people are nonstop talking about it :) it's going to be so cool :) they might even carry it on after me and Zola graduate :) that would be pretty sweet :) I hope we go down as the first people to found it though :)
Our amendment to start casual friday was awesome :) contrary to the belief of our stupid student teacher :)
Aerobic substitutes are the worst!!! Me and Mitchell are just dancing trying to have fun 'Hey you two, stop that! That's not what we're doing!' Yeah but without weights we can't do what they're doing either..
Senior year is awesome :) and Dylann is going out of our lives for good. We did a pinky promise. I'm so thankful to say ta ta :)
Swim team manager <3

‘Cause these are the nights that you know when you’re there. You couldn’t have planned it much better I swear

You are my sweetest downfall...

Dear guys who feel that it is ok to hit on me while at the gym: Do not use the line 'Soo, do you come here often?' ...Umm have you seen my body?! Of course I come here often!
My bra smells like sweat and money. It's official. I'm a stripper. ;)
'Mom, smell my bra it smells like money!'
*sniffs* 'How do you sweat money?!'
'...I'm Ke$ha...'
I'm so awesome that english kid felt the need to walk very closely behind me to get to his car when it was veryy unnecessary. I can almost say with pure knowledge that this time he was checking me out and not the car.. but we'll never know for sure.
It is a blessing indeed that I did not have to go to gti today. And that I got to spend my time making weekend warrior posters instead. If I would have been at cosmetology, then our club wouldn't have been as organized I don't think. But we got three pages of kids signing up :) If you just say free food then they will come ;)
Jostens assembly :/ Ohmygosh it's expensive to graduate! 'If I don't use all of my graduation announcements I'm sending one to Ke$ha..' Mitchell: 'Lets do it!' Then we giggle and decide that if we send them Ke$ha will come :) Bahaha :)
While reading english kids mystery story, 'Wow strange cuts on her neck? That's a douchey way to kill someone... Oh it's because he was dressed like a cowboy! The spurs!!' :)
Parent teacher conferences :) Julie is amazing :) she makes me feel so good about myself :) I know that with her help I'll pass my state board exam with no problem. Sanitation. Sanitation. Sanitation!!! I still have all the time in the world to improve at things and to learn new things. I'm going to find a true talent in something and I will be successful. There are so many directions that I can go that it will be impossible for me to fail. Suck on that Mr. Harward!
Brother Sullivan means so much to me. He brings me comfort and peace in things that I doubt. I don't know why god chose me, but I have a work to do. I can't give up on that. Joseph Smith went through the same thing. On this exact date he prayed to god and asked him if he was still right for his calling. I'm going to take up on Brother Sullivan's challenge and do the same thing. Thank you for crying with me, Brother Sullivan.
Mrs. Rockwell surprisingly didn't bash on me too much to my mumma :) 'You'r energy will be an asset in this preschool.' Ok :)
Today was actually an amazing day.
Mitchell is as strong as I thought he was. He's pulling through this so well. And I'm really proud of him. He's an amazing friend and an even better example. And yes, I will have a child for him ;) I love Mitchell :) :) :)

Pretty, if the sun won't shine..

Hi my name is Adri. I get checked out at that gym while I sweat my brains out. And a twenty two year old guy will proceed to hit on me and try to ask me on a date. That, my friends, is just how good I am. I'm freaking pro.
Curling hair in cosmetology. The 'professional' curling irons are the spawn of the devil :|
Mitchell got his braces off today and it looks so good :) That's my best friend! In aerobics we sing to emminem while working on our cardio ;)
History student teacher. Woof. She doesn't even make history fun and she's the hardest student teacher I've ever had.
Swim team today :) I love it :) this year is going to be awesome :)
I got my homecoming pictures today :) :) :) they're pretty ok :) I love the group picture ahhh :)
Utah gossip girl: hey upper eastsiders guess who got married in the temple today?! guess who didn't ;)
Are they the ugly version of our friendship? No. Because they're both girls. Oh yeah, I forget yelena isn't a boy... ;)
I love when fake people talk about me behind my back then give me the biggest smile when they see me.. whore.
Today was pretty great :) happy happy happy.
Number one most said thing by Adri: oh my gosh. I cannot be bothered with this.

I love you in all the colours you can be

People make me feel inadequate.
I'm sorry I don't measure up to what you think I should be.
I feel that people won't let me change. They don't register the new person that is in front of them.
I know I still have faults. I still have weaknesses. But do you really think you're strengthening me by saying that you're disappointed in someone because they took me to my senior homecoming. By saying that you're the one that is breaking the commandment. Love thy neighbor as thyself? Nobody has the right to judge but god? So who are you to say that about me? You aren't that perfect yourself, missy. So stop judging me for my weaknesses and my faults. You have them too. I'm sorry I'm not the average mormon and that I refuse to change for other people. You're a toolbag and I'm tired of people thinking this about me. I am a good person. I don't judge people and I'm trying my hardest to love everyone. That's the biggest thing that Jesus taught. That was highest on his priority list. Modesty wasn't. If you read your scriptures then you would see that. I do read my scriptures and I do see that. I pray. I have a relationship with god. I feel his love around me as I pray and I feel that he is proud of me and that I'm doing the right thing. I just need to carry on. I know I have a lot that I can teach other people and I'm ready to do that. I'm not going to give up because a few people that don't even know me are judging me by the way I look. I have a feeling and I'm going to follow it. And if you can't respect the decision that heavenly father made by giving me this calling, then frankly, you aren't worth it. I'm done. The only person I'm trying to please now is God. And I know he's happy with the progress I'm making.

I'm not the girl you were hoping for.

Missy goes to prom ;)

Updos in cosmetology :) I'm not exactly pro, but ima gettin there :) I can't wait to find my talent :)
Fbla party that we attended :) where as soon as we got there the sandwiches were gone!
Tmi phone :) step away from the edge mitchell :) 'Growing up I was like 'nice kitty' and glen was like 'KITTY!' I was like 'Yumm macaroni and cheese mommy' glen was like 'MACARONI!!'' :)
Mitchell is my child. So there I am talking. Stops mid sentence. 'Mitchell, put that down!' 'But it smells good..'
Finding and returning a lost phone.
I'm grateful for the lady in the bathroom. She was nice.
You know who isn't nice? 'Carli.' she invades my friends. And I can't stand her. She made him break a promise.
Football game with Colton. Oh gosh all guys are the exact same. Same lines. Same lines. Same lines. Sorry sweetie, that doesn't work on me. I love the feeling though. It makes me feel like the winner after all this time.
I feel Dixon all around me. Me and him aren't that different I don't think. We just can't be bothered. I miss my Dixy poo. [I love you sweetheart]
Today I went to the fair :) I forgot how much I hate the fair. Who cares about a butter cow anyways?! But I did find a goat that is louder than me. And I got to pet one.
Life mission: own a goat.
This week was good :)

'What they don't tell you about relationships is that there are moments far more precious than your first kiss or 'I love you' And the worst part about them is that they don't last forever.'

I hate her. I really really hate her.
She's ruining everything.
Get your own effing friends.
I hate you.

I'm waiting for fall to fill the air again. And for love to slap me across the face.
I love this season.

When you fall asleep, what do you wish for?

She's my number one client :)

Perms today. I hate perms. Really really hate perms.
Yoga Booty Ballet. (ybb) Ok from the top.. fancy feet. Cowboy cowboy. English. Namastay ;)
Good lord white kids can't dance hip hop :|
More dramaaaa. Not worth my time. Yeah, I can't even be bothered with this anymore. I'm unaffected by this point. I don't care what happens anymore to be honest. I think I just have a bad attitude. Or a good one depending on the way you look at it.
Death penalty argument. Me and Abby win. End of story.

You know what is amazing :) when you're driving to school and you're best friend in rehab dedicates a song to you on the radio. On the station you happen to hate. But you end up hearing it anyways. God was blessing my life that morning.

Fiesta legsss! NO! I'm zesty legs.

'Can I have a taste?
Yeah :)
Mmm I just want it right now :)'
What are you talking about??? Jizz. :)
The look on mitchell's face: Priceless.

I can't even learn with them here! ...Yes, I can tell that you really want to learn when you either leave early or have the hall pass for half an hour. You're a douche :) Kira, thank you for telling me I'm prettier than her inside and out. I love you and your individuality. I really mean it.

So much jizzzz is happening. But I'm feeling a little sunny side up today, a little on the bright side, positive even. :) My senior year is wonderful. Because half the time I'm not even there :)
I want an extension class so fricken bad.

My name is Adri Perschon. Can I do your hair and fix your love life? xxxxxx

Just the addiction I've been waiting for..

Watch of Eric Ramirez :)

'I just took a peeksy at your blog and I must say, your dress was lush. The boy who took you was an extremely lucky guy.'

Guess what. I was extremely lucky too to have a date like him. I'm so glad that I actually ended up going to my last homecoming with you. Because I ended up having the time of my life even though my feet hurt from standing in line for so long to get our pictures taken. Thank you for telling me I looked pretty, even though I didn't look like a princess. Thank you for not ditching me. Not even once. I know I'm hard to handle, but thank you for handling me anyways. Oh and most of all thank you for the watch ;) 'I was thinking about something today' 'And what was that :)' 'That you're a watch thief :)' I wasn't quite a thief. Not really. I mean, you did give it to me. And it was an accident. I just forgot to give it back to you :) But don't worry, it's safe on my wrist. And today everyone told me they liked my watch :) I didn't bother correcting them and saying it's yours :)
Flaming Apple. Burlap. Fairy Eric ;)
'I look ready for a party. Aaaand you look proper. I think I'm out of place..'
I sort of liked that you were shorter than me. I know you didn't, but it made me think that you would do anything to make me happy :) I can't wait for our pictures to come :) But wait, I bet I ruined them by either A. looking like a stoner or B. looking too happy.  Don't be surprised. My dance pictures never look to good. I think the worst will be if I blinked :| Oh goodness I hope I didn't blink :|
Thank you for listening to me complain about everything under the sun last week. And thank you for not hating me every time I picked a fight. You're an amazing friend. I'm thankful that Heavenly father has allowed me to know you. And I hope we're best friends forever :) and ever and ever :)

'we have a good thing
she is a bad thing
why would she want to break us
who would want to break us'

-I'm a pirate, you're a princess


I'm finally wearing my heart on my sleeve.

The sun sets slower.

Missy dear :)

Today I played beauty parlor with Missy :) she always has the sexiest backcombed stripper hair. I love my mannequin more than I love my favorite shoes :) You know what else I absolutely love... cleaning the hair out of my brushes and disinfecting everything :/ gotta love the cleaning aspect of cosmetology. Dear Egyptians, I would like to thank you for inventing eyeliner. I love you. You had the best cosmetics ever.

On the bus: "It's so weird when crazy girls get all desperate for school dances and ask the guys.." So I turn around. "I'm one of those 'crazy' girls. And we wouldn't have to be if you guys would just get off your arses and ask someone.." what a puss. 

So then I'm in the bathroom changing for the day because I hate that everyone says I 'used' to have great style :/ Then I realized something. I had forgotten my shoes. THE HORROR!!!! So I just had to go to third period without shoes :| I looked like a hobo to put it quite bluntly. Luckily Mrs. Rockwell let me and Mitchell leave a little early so I could go home and get my shoes :) Thank the lord for nice teachers :) Note to self: Never forget shoes again. Ever!

After my shoe getting adventure with Mitchell, I'm pulling into the parking lot. And see that my parking spot has been taken!! By none other than a white car with a 'Dylann Baby' sticker on it :) that douche bag... ;)

'Well, Perschon, you have a nice schedule this year. You have two hard classes and that's it. Well cosmetology has work, but if you love it, then..' Well said Mr. Padjen. It doesn't feel like work at all even though it is. And even though it can be really hard. That's what my life is gonna be like I suppose :)

My dreams don't seem too big anymore. 

I can feel that people have been praying for me. I don't know how, but I know they are. And I feel like their prayers are working. Thank you..

Homecoming :)

Ohhaithere Stoner.

Hi I'm Ke$ha and I AM money.

Things I cannot change

Homecoming was amazing :) Even the homecoming game was almost a success. I consider it a success. We freaking almost beat herriman! Suck on that Katie! Right now she would start talking about how she 'has some birds for sale' :) I'm so chill that Rachel copied my every move. She danced the same as me. She just acted the same as me. I'm pretty cool I know. 'Adri, I wish I was you right now!' Thank you :) the only bad part was that I could feel the people looking at me and thinking 'Isn't she on seminary council?!' Yes, I am. Now suck on my immodest dress! I feel great accomplishment in the fact that I ended up looking like Ke$ha. I spent all day putting zebra stripes and money signs on my nails :) I may have been flirty with the waiter at applebees, but it seriously was not me that left the phone number! Matt was my favorite waiter ever though :) I'm the cowboy burger :) Oh I forgot, I was the trashiest one in the group. Of course. All the other girls looked like princesses. And I was ready for a party. I'm way too awesome.
COME SAIL AWAYYYY WITH ME!!!!

When the day seems lost from the stars, you must follow your heart

I feel like I can't do this anymore. It's this huge cycle. He lays his stress on me and I lay it on my friends. And now he won't text me back. I hope I didn't ruin everything. This isn't fair! I just need somebody to talk to about my life. Because all we talk about is his. I'm so stressed about this. About everything now. I just wish none of this would have ever happened. Why aren't you being strong? You always were before. Why are you giving up on everything? Why are you giving up your passions? You're bringing this upon yourself! "I hope you never feel this." I already have, and I made it through. I need you to handle this better. Because When you can't handle it, I can't either. This is too much. I wish I could say 'I can't be bothered with this.' But I have to because he's my best friend. I need a hug right now. I can't believe I haven't been asked to homecoming yet. And that Mitchell probably won't be able to take me. I have no idea what is going to happen. I've never had this before. And it sucks. I've always been asked. And now I haven't and it isn't a priority for him to take me because he got what he wanted. Even though he said he would. I don't know :( I've never felt so sad so many days in a row. I just want to scream and shout and tell him that he needs to be stronger than this. He can't cry every day at lunch. He can't look miserable in front of swim team. And he can't give up.

The world is so full of suffering, but is also full of overcoming it.

I'm on the pursuit of happiness

Just ask him if he's gay! Just ask!
I like the usage of Jeffery in that.
...Go away jeff you're just a creep.
I'm such a good friend :) I ditched America's next top model for swimming with my best friend. And guess what? It was worth it.
I'm grateful for Geoff. Because he offered to threaten someone for me. Because they're pissing me off and are all over my grill. Step down. Now. And Geoff just makes me feel pretty so it's like :)

I'm so excited at the prospect of tomorrow :)
[Thank you Heavenly Father]

Pretty girls, dirty words.

Devin actually brought me soup today :) every guy says they'll bring you soup, but this kid really did :)
'I'm blogging about that!' Cosmetologist instructor: 'Did you just say your blogging about that?!'
I'm very proud of Lundon and her skills :) I obviously have the hardest hair to work with, but in the end, she made mine look the very best :) I adore this girl already :) she's gunna make it in the business :)
I love cali and julie :) 'You guys havin fun playin beautyyy parlor?' :) yes, yes we were :)
Love for Robbin :) 'Don't give up!!' I decided to take that more literally than you meant it. I won't give up, Robbin. You can't either though. I love how much her face lit up when she heard that somebody misses her. I think she just wants to be appreciated. And I'm going to write her something to tell her just how much she has influenced me on my life.
'Braxton! Tell your brother that he gives the best advice in the world!' I still owe so much to Triton. I'm always going to be grateful for him. He's a blessing to me from god and I'm never going to forget him. I'll remember everything that he has done for me. I have to name my son after him.
When I heard eye of the tiger I thought of you. It made me feel so much more intense while aerobisizing. I wish I would have been fully clothed in authentic aerobic clothes :)
In seminary we answered questions from another class :) 'Why do we have to try to be perfect now' Because it will take a whole lifetime to achieve that, sweetie. Each and every day is a day of judgment. All of our actions decide which kingdom we will enter.

It is my mission to expand what beauty means.

My heart is occupied.

Surprisingly some of the most amazing advice came from a drunk guy with a scratchy voice.
'Don't start smoking. You're too pretty to start smoking.'
'Don't get a tattoo. You're too pretty to get a tattoo.'
'Don't fall in love. Don't plan your future around a guy. Live for you. You're the only one that really cares about you. All guys are liars until they're 27. They don't 'love' you. They don't care about you. You're too pretty for that. You're easy on the eyes and you're too pretty for that. Don't trust a guy. They're just lying to you. You're too pretty for that.'
'I have one thing to say to you. Don't f*cking wreck with my son'
Why was your nose in her armpit?!
-I love her.
I can't take money from a drunk guy!
-Get used to it, sweetie.
Whoa! I just found out what hips are for!
'When I see you I get a special feeling and it made me want to talk to you.'
Oh you mean because your girlfriend dumped you and you feel lonely?
Guys are all starting to seem like they say the same things. And I can't even trust any of them because none of them are 27 ;)
Thanks for the advice, Patrick. Yeah, you are lucky to have Nicole. But I also think that you deserve her. And that she's lucky too.
This was a good labor day weekend. I love Matt and Patty. I love my family. I love that every guy is the same.
I love. I love. I love.

yes. as a matter of fact today did suck.
People that steal my jackets need to grow the eff up.
thank heavenly father for sending me the right people at the right time.
"You're a senior now aren't you?! Oh my gosh you're so gorgeous! How are you and Terance? You two inspired me to believe in love!" So then I start crying. About everything. Even my stupid jacket. And she listened to all of it. And gave me a well needed hug. And now I have the strength to go on again. Thanks Kaylee. x