Confession

I've prayed for fish to live.
I know it's absolutely insane and I don't expect any of you to understand, but I did.
At my house we pretty much have a regular little fish farm. It all started when I wanted a single goldfish named sam. That fish somehow turned into dozens and we've had some of them for three or four years now. Fish are silly. Parents get them for their kids knowing they'll die. Why not spare the kids some heartbreak and buy them a plant instead? But for some reason society has taught us that fish don't matter. They're meant to die in a few weeks. And we aren't supposed to be sad about it. My dad isn't like that though. My dad loves those fish, I wouldn't be surprised if he has a personal bond with every single one of them. But the other day something went wrong, I don't really know, but they started to die and my dad was really upset. So as we were moving them to different water to try to save them I quickly (and not extremely sincerely) asked god to help keep those stupid fish alive. And against all odds and to everyone's surprise they're ok. On the other hand, I also told my mom that if any of the fish died I would have just thrown them over the fence to try to avoid my dad knowing it died. So when I saw a dead one today, me and my mom did just that. Hid the evidence to save my dad some heartache.
It's all silly. Silly of me praying for fish. Silly of my dad for loving the fish so much. And very silly of me and my mom to go to such great lengths to hide a dead fish. But in the end, it just shows all of our capacities of love.
Ben moves to Idaho in just a couple of weeks. The house will feel so much lonelier and quieter without him. It sounds like a sad house.