When I go to school I feel alone. I feel that as soon as I step into that classroom, I'm not allowed to smile because I know the girls there don't even want me to be happy. Late at night, after I turn off my bedroom light, I hold my puppy really tight and just cry. I let out all the tears that I've held in all day. I know it's strange, but I feel like Tank is the only 'person' I can cry with because he won't look at me and think I'm weak or deserving of my sadness. He just lets me cry. I know Sarah and Mckenzie look down on me and hope for bad things to happen to me. I know they talk badly about me and say things that aren't true. And I know that it shouldn't bother me. But of course it will. Because I thought that they cared about me. I hate work so much, I hate it SO much, but lately I would rather go there than be at school. Because those girls make me feel happy. When I walk in the room the smile and come and hug me. They tell me they're happy that I've come and that they have so much to tell me. They trust me. And when new girls work there and I introduce myself they always say 'Oh you're Adri? Everyone loves you' To those girls I am something special. I'm having a rough time lately. I have so much that I'm grateful for for and so many people that love me, but sometimes I feel like I can't go on. I can't explain it. The highlight of my week is friday night with my best friend and wednesday when I get my letter. Silly things to look forward to, I know, but they get me through. The time between those I just feel sad. I worry about failure, I worry about my family, and I worry about my friends. It's Mike's birthday, but he asked Drake not to celebrate it because it makes things harder.
So here I am on a thursday night, crying because I don't belong anywhere anymore.
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