(White dad voice): But you're my little girl..
Daughter in movies: I'll always be your little girl. (Tightly embraces)

My mom: I'm just not ready for you to grow up yet
Me: (laughs) please stop crying, you're making me uncomfortable. (tightly embraces my puppy)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, BITCHES.

Yesterday my cousin got engaged. She must have made it clear she wanted a ring.

I hope I made it clear enough that I want Leo to get an oscar.

Why Leonardo DiCaprio didn't get an oscar for his performance in basketball diaries is beyond me. He literally broke my heart.

Not today, peasants. I can NOT be bothered with this.

There are so many on and off engagements at my school that I'm 700% done with marriage.
This generation I swear to god. Or maybe it's just Utah.

Go to cafe rio on a Friday night. It's a fucking high school reunion.

So a while ago Levi dragged me out to go and see the hobbit. Hlechh. So I dragged him to see Les Mis.  It took him about five minutes. "Adri, is this a musical?" "Paybacks a bitch."
Three hour musical payback. That everyone seemed to love and adore. I guess me and him are just too stupid to understand.