This one's for you, baby bird
Monday, March 19, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Times are hard for dreamers.
It's hard having a black eye and bruised legs you know. Add a program full of girls and it causes some petty rumors. On thursday I went to school early to print my resume on my fancy resume paper (courtesy of Eric) and I was wearing a skirt because I always get dolled up to turn in applications/resumes (even though this manager has seen me all gross and sweaty after tanning, but still..) but so all of my bruises were showing. And nobody has seen my legs after my accident, they've only seen my eye. So some girl that I don't know asks if my legs were bruised in the accident, so I said yes and I kept walking. But when I was walking away the girl next to her asked what happened to me. 'She said she was in a dirt biking accident, but I don't think so.' WHAT A BITCH. I'm not abused! I haven't been raped! And if I was that is NOT something you just gossip about!!! She's a filthy, nosy wench.
Although it's been fun this week saying that I'm in an abusive relationship and that I got into a fight and so on, I guess none of that is the full truth... So, yes, I was in an accident. No I wasn't raped or anything crazy even though my legs do look pretty nasty. I didn't break anything thankgod, I just came out with scratches and bruises. I screwed up the alignment of my spine and neck so I have to go to a chiropractor, but at least I wasn't paralyzed. It's the weirdest feeling ever to get hurt. Like you know it's coming, but your mind just erases the actual process. You see it about to happen and then all the sudden you're on the ground and you're in pain. It's a weird feeling because you don't scream immediately. Or at least I didn't. I waited for a minute, for someone to come and lift it off of me. But it was so heavy and everyone was taking so long to come. It was just a natural thing to think to myself 'they aren't coming. it's over now' I remember closing my eyes and giving up, but the next thing I knew, I was screaming for someone to come and help me. Being the vain creature I am, when Ben asked me if I was ok, I asked him if my face looked ok, if my hair looked ok (I could feel a scratch on my face so I pictured blood gushing and I was worried that my hair had gotten caught under the wheel and caused bald spots. vain, I am aware) but I went back thinking that I was just a bit bruised and I wanted to pop my back. Immediately though I had a bad headache. I'm ok though :) That night was super rough trying to fall asleep because my back and legs hurt so bad. I tossed and turned all night and in my post traumatic stress, I imagined that people were helping me through the whole night. I know my mom came in and did help a lot, but I felt like she was by my side every single time I turned even the slightest bit in my bed. I know she wasn't, but it felt like she watched over me the whole night. And I imagined that Drake was there and that he kept telling me how I should position my body and how I shouldn't so I didn't make my back even worse. I imagined that Eric was there and that he kept adjusting my blankets and my comforter so that the never fell off. And when I woke up in the morning, my back wasn't worse from sleeping and my blankets were still perfect. I know that they specifically weren't there, but I do believe that I had three special angels attending to me that night. I know in my heart I was getting taken care of that whole day. I know it's a cheesy thing to say, but I can't help myself. I've been going and having my back adjusted and I'm getting better everyday :) I can almost walk normal and not everyone notices my eye now. AND on Friday I was able to wear jeans for the first time :) it hurt like hell on my scratches, but I'm ready to be better now :)
Thank you for everyone that has helped me in any way :) I have the best friends and family in the entire world. Also, my puddle of a cuddly puppy got me through it all :) he's just my little black rain cloud :)
I've been feeling very crafty lately :) Ben: #crafts-r-gayy
Although it's been fun this week saying that I'm in an abusive relationship and that I got into a fight and so on, I guess none of that is the full truth... So, yes, I was in an accident. No I wasn't raped or anything crazy even though my legs do look pretty nasty. I didn't break anything thankgod, I just came out with scratches and bruises. I screwed up the alignment of my spine and neck so I have to go to a chiropractor, but at least I wasn't paralyzed. It's the weirdest feeling ever to get hurt. Like you know it's coming, but your mind just erases the actual process. You see it about to happen and then all the sudden you're on the ground and you're in pain. It's a weird feeling because you don't scream immediately. Or at least I didn't. I waited for a minute, for someone to come and lift it off of me. But it was so heavy and everyone was taking so long to come. It was just a natural thing to think to myself 'they aren't coming. it's over now' I remember closing my eyes and giving up, but the next thing I knew, I was screaming for someone to come and help me. Being the vain creature I am, when Ben asked me if I was ok, I asked him if my face looked ok, if my hair looked ok (I could feel a scratch on my face so I pictured blood gushing and I was worried that my hair had gotten caught under the wheel and caused bald spots. vain, I am aware) but I went back thinking that I was just a bit bruised and I wanted to pop my back. Immediately though I had a bad headache. I'm ok though :) That night was super rough trying to fall asleep because my back and legs hurt so bad. I tossed and turned all night and in my post traumatic stress, I imagined that people were helping me through the whole night. I know my mom came in and did help a lot, but I felt like she was by my side every single time I turned even the slightest bit in my bed. I know she wasn't, but it felt like she watched over me the whole night. And I imagined that Drake was there and that he kept telling me how I should position my body and how I shouldn't so I didn't make my back even worse. I imagined that Eric was there and that he kept adjusting my blankets and my comforter so that the never fell off. And when I woke up in the morning, my back wasn't worse from sleeping and my blankets were still perfect. I know that they specifically weren't there, but I do believe that I had three special angels attending to me that night. I know in my heart I was getting taken care of that whole day. I know it's a cheesy thing to say, but I can't help myself. I've been going and having my back adjusted and I'm getting better everyday :) I can almost walk normal and not everyone notices my eye now. AND on Friday I was able to wear jeans for the first time :) it hurt like hell on my scratches, but I'm ready to be better now :)
Thank you for everyone that has helped me in any way :) I have the best friends and family in the entire world. Also, my puddle of a cuddly puppy got me through it all :) he's just my little black rain cloud :)
I've been feeling very crafty lately :) Ben: #crafts-r-gayy
Friday, March 16, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
You know you're sick when:
You watch almost an entire season of gossip girl in one day.
Your puppy won't leave your side because he knows something is wrong.
You take like one million baths.
Your mommy makes you soup :)
Pizza makes you want to throw up.
Only ice-cream sounds good. So you make the boyfriend buy it and make sure that it has chunky bananas.
You don't finish the ice-cream the boyfriend bought you.
You black in and out of batman.
Sweats. No makeup. Greasy hair. Stunner.
Being sick is the bombbb.
Your puppy won't leave your side because he knows something is wrong.
You take like one million baths.
Your mommy makes you soup :)
Pizza makes you want to throw up.
Only ice-cream sounds good. So you make the boyfriend buy it and make sure that it has chunky bananas.
You don't finish the ice-cream the boyfriend bought you.
You black in and out of batman.
Sweats. No makeup. Greasy hair. Stunner.
Being sick is the bombbb.
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